Afishionados,

Behold! The new box art for Microsoft’s upcoming¹ Windows 7! At least, what the box art would look like if I were designing the packaging.

I have installed Windows XP on my otherwise-fully-functional Mac because I’ve grown quite fond of some of Telltale Games’ adventure games. While they are far from resource-intensive pigs, they do require Windows in order to run. Sadness, I know .

Anyway, after infecting installing Windows XP, I was all set to go (or so I thought) until I tried to join my wireless network, which failed every time I tried to connect. Windows could see the network and the computer connects just fine under Mac OS X (so it wasn’t a hardware issue). However, Windows XP continued to fail for unknown reasons.

After a quick Google Search™ for a solution via the iPhone, I found a Microsoft support document² with information and a download to resolve the issue. I restarted into Mac OS X in hopes of downloading and applying said patch but was greeted with a lovely “Windows Genuine Advantage” screen instead of a download link.

For those not in the know, Windows Genuine [Dis]Advantage is Microsoft’s way of ‘protecting’ the consumer from fraudulent copies of Windows. At least that’s what they want you to think. In reality, it’s Microsoft’s way of making sure you aren’t running a pirated copy of their shitty operating system. You can’t download updates for Windows if it doesn’t pass the test.

Well, you can see how this is quite the conundrum. Obviously Mac OS X wouldn’t pass the WGA test so I couldn’t use THAT to download the file. And Windows has to verify itself as legal, authentic, legit, etc. over the Internet in order to obtain this file, yet the whole PURPOSE of the patch is to fix my inability to connect in the first place! Boggles the mind.

I ended up running an ethernet cable (so 2008, I know) from the router directly to the the computer, booting into Windows, and authenticating my copy for the download. Happily³, all is well in the world of Windows XP Professional and connecting to my wireless network.

Oh, I nearly forgot what is arguably the best part: My copy of Windows XP Professional is not ‘authentic’ by any means. Nor is my copy of Windows Vista Ultimate [Piece of Shit]. But you can bet your ass BOTH of them pass the WGA test every time I install them, so you can see how effective THAT fuckin’ system is.

I will never in a million years understand how anybody can stand to use Windows, let alone try and defend it as superior to the competition.

And speaking of the competition, Google has announced their own operating system. Is it just me, or does their logo look like a goddamn Simon?

¹Well, Microsoft claims Windows 7 will be released on time. Skeptics, get out your calendars…
²An oxymoron if ever there was.
³As happy as one CAN be when using Windows