If I have to find Jesus, does that mean he's hiding?

Not the Change I Wanted

Posted in Assholes, Bullshit, Current Events, Help!, Humor, Insanity, Make Believe, News, Space, Stupid on February 1st, 2010 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

Constellation Program

Obama’s 2011 budget plans would scrap NASA’s Constellation space program that I am rather fond of. No doubt the plan is to use the money saved for a public healthcare option.

HAHAHAHAHA.

Yea, right. Sorry, what the hell was I thinking.

We’re just going to waste it on other shit like the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. After all, someone’s gotta continue to bless the camel jockeys with the gift of democracy. Clearly the wars are more important than things like public healthcare in this country or space exploration. I bet if the Moon had an earthquake we’d go there. Or weapons of mass destruction. Of course, even if we DID think the Moon had weapons of mass destruction, we wouldn’t be able to find them.

Therefore, because of my disappointment, I have no other choice but to do something like this:

It had to be done...

Click to Play the Video

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Return to Sender

Posted in Awesome, Cars, Current Events, Gadgetry, Great Ideas, Humor, Mind Wandering, Science, Space on October 6th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

Grumman Logo

On November 7, 1962, the Grumman Corporation won the contract to build the lunar module for the United States’ Apollo space program. Grumman ended up building thirteen lunar modules for NASA, each one of them by hand. The estimated cost for all the lunar modules was $11 million dollars. Grumman went on to bid for the contract for the space shuttle, but ultimately lost to Rockwell International. While the Grumman group has won other government contracts and has built other flying contraptions for the government (the F-14 Tomcat, for example), the company has yet to build any space-related vehicles since the Apollo program.

Something that many folks may not realize, however, is that the Grumman folks are responsible for building for the government a vehicle that is arguably just as recognizable as the lunar module. And that vehicle is the Grumman LLV:

Grumman LLV

Grumman LLV

The Grumman LLV is what the postal service uses to deliver the mail to homes across the U.S. I know the mailman in my area loves his, because his ass rarely even steps outside of the damn thing. If you live in the U.S. and haven’t seen one of these before, then you’ve obviously never been outside your house. It’s one of the few government vehicles where you don’t need any special training to drive, too. Heck, you don’t even have to have a clearance or be trusted to drive one of these babies.

It’s been 37 years since the United States (or any country, for that matter) has landed humans on the moon. NASA has begun work on a new rocket to replace the [very] outdated space shuttle. As you may have noticed in my sidebar, the first test launch of the new Ares rocket is scheduled for October 27, 2009. The Ares rocket is part of the new Constellation space program, which NASA hopes will take us back to the moon sometime around 2020, as well as to Mars in the distant future.

No doubt questions abound with regard to the new Constellation program. Why are we going back to the moon? Why bother going to Mars? Is space exploration really that important? Each person must judge for themselves, I suppose, though I am of the opinion that space exploration is important. After all, this planet won’t last forever and who knows what me might learn from the experience?

But the number one question on my mind (and I don’t think I am alone here) is, “How long until we land a mailman on the moon?” Or, at the very least, fake it nine times?

Landing a Mailman on the Moon

Landing a Mailman on the Moon

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