Afishionados,

Loyal Afishionado Ly has informed me of the latest news in the world of superheroes. The 99 are here and make up the world’s first Muslim superheroes!

Looks like Bibleman will have some work cut out for him, as The 99 will no doubt serve as nemeses. Better dust off that armor, Bibleman.

The 99 is even being brought to British TV thanks to Endemol, which, coincidentally, is the plan of terrorists throughout the world with regard to us infidels. Anyway, the show is aimed to “instill Islamic values in children across all faiths” and is expected to do well. Let’s hope the show doesn’t bomb.

Afishionados,

Richard Dawkins appeared in my toast this morning. It’s a sign!

Afishionados,

It’s never surprising when a religious whack job (get it? ha!) goes out of their way to take a stand against something that doesn’t deserve taking a stand against, but I think this is beyond ridiculous. The only thing more ridiculous than this shirt is the fact that these people are actually proud to wear it.

Seriously. There is just no way I would ever print a big “EX” on one of my favorite shirts.

Afishionados,

Vixxie’s latest post gave me an idea. I decided to interview God. Here, for your viewing pleasure, is my unedited interview (along with all of God’s answers) in full. Please enjoy.

Afishionados,

A friend of mine mentioned that he’ll be visiting The Creation Museum. Not because he’s religious or believes any of it, but because there’s really nothing good playing in theaters and he needs a good laugh.

I didn’t even realize that there was a creationist museum. But apparently it’s true, and it’s in Kentucky, which, I guess, makes sense because Kentucky isn’t the brightest state in the Union. It’s only about an hour from my house, and I’m tempted to visit myself. I’m not sure I can justify handing over the $20 admission fee, though. It just feels… dirty. At least I know I’m being had before I go in, you know? But I guess there are people out there who believe this shit is for real. I think I’d rather visit Disney World. At least Disney World admits it’s just a fantasy.

Despite the fact that I know it’s all a farce, my curiosity led me to their web site. Imagine my surprise when I was greeted with this on the front page!

Well, shit! This changes EVERYTHING! You mean if I visit the Creation Museum I get to pet friggin’ dinosaurs?!?! Dang! I’m so there!

The museum even has an answer for the existence of dinosaurs. See? People used to ride them! Never mind the fact that no archaeologist has ever uncovered the existence of a dinosaur saddle because this proves that it’s true. This is an exact replica of the dinosaur that Mary rode to Bethlehem. And you thought she rode a donkey! By the way, Creationists, I think you owe royalties to the very talented Mr. James Gurney. You totally ripped him off, and his fantasy stories are WAY better.

The museum was designed by some former exhibit director for Universal Studios. And it shows, because all the dinosaurs on display look exactly like those from Jurassic Park (a Universal Studios movie), right down to their sculpting, paint jobs, and inaccuracies. The velociraptors, for example, are the same 6 foot size as they were in the JP film. In reality, velociraptors, while 6 feet long, were only about 1.5 to 2 feet in height. While I’m not surprised that the Creationists got this ‘minor’ detail wrong, it just goes to show you that they really did steal the models from Jurassic Park.

Rest assured, should I ever visit, I’ll definitely take my camera along to the Petting Zoo and take pictures of all the cool dinosaurs. My first stop, though, will be stopping by Jesus’ cage. For some reason, it just seems polite to pet him first.

I first saw this story in the CNN news ticker at the very bottom of the screen:

Baby Jesus Statue Gets GPS for Christmas

Sunday December 23, 2007 2:16 PM

BAL HARBOUR, Fla. (AP) – A baby Jesus statue here is getting a Global Positioning System for Christmas.

The statue, part of a nativity scene, will be equipped with the device after the previous statue went missing, even though it had been bolted down.

“I don’t anticipate this will ever happen again,” said Dina Cellini, who oversees the display, “but we may need to rely on technology to save our savior.”

The Mary and Joseph statues will also be fitted with GPS devices, she said.

The devices are being bought using residents’ contributions and Cellini’s own money.

Cellini has also installed a Plexiglas screen in front of the display.

“Save our Savior?” STFU already. I hate to break it to anyone, but this is the ONLY way you will ever find Jesus.

I hope everyone enjoys the new header image at the top of the page. Yes, it’s very similar to the “old” one but I can assure you this one is brand new. “Why?” do you ask? What an excellent question!

Last night I thought I would change my screensaver for the first time in five or six years. I found one that I liked and tried to install it. Words cannot express how truly poor that decision was on my part. A part of me died last night at approximately 9:30 P.M. EST. There’s a good chance that you might have heard me screaming, too.

The screensaver devoured ALL the files on my desktop, including the Photoshop files and templates for this web site. All gone in the blink of an eye. To make matters worse, I didn’t have backups of everything and the REAL salt in the wound is that the screensaver didn’t work anyway!

This is why there is no God. God would not punish a Mac user like this, especially by trying to install a simple screensaver. Windows users on PCs? Absolutely. God would hate them. If he were real.

I have backups of all of my personal files, but I didn’t have backups of all the Photoshop files for the Ministry. Fortunately, there is a software program out there called Data Rescue II which I will vouch does just that. I was able to recover the majority of my files, with the exception of the header image and the Ministry logo file.

When I work on my projects, I save my files as I go. If I make a drastic change, I save it as a new file. This way, if I later decide that what I changed was bad, I can go back to where I started from. I consider most of my stuff (especially the images on my blog) to be works in progress. While I lost the “final” version of the Ministry logo, I was able to “finish” one of the work-in-progress versions that I had backed up. ::Whew::. And Data Rescue II recovered the parchment and cloth backgrounds of the Ministry.

So although God doesn’t exist, Santa had better because I need him to bring me an external hard drive so that I can back up my stuff with Apple’s new Time Machine feature.

And if Santa should fail in his quest to bring the Ministry a hard drive for Christmas?

Afishionados,

Wash your hands because the claptrap is spreading…

Afishionados,

I’ve seen Dateline MSNBC’s To Catch a Predator many times, and I can’t help but notice that most of the predators caught share one common theme: they’re all very religious (or at least claim to be). Church volunteers, Jesus Freaks… you name it, they’ve probably been caught. I wonder if it’s just the way that MSNBC edits the show (cut out some of the predators that aren’t religious?) or is it really this common?

(For the record, I am not saying that all religious people are inherently predators. There ARE good religious people out there. Just not on MSNBC’s To Catch a Predator ).

Also, why are these underage teens always presumed to be 100% innocent? I’m certainly not siding with the predators, but at even at 13, 14, 15 years of age, etc., I find it difficult to believe that these teens don’t have any concept that chatting with people online and asking them over for sex is “bad” or “wrong”. And this opens up a whole other can of worms, too. Is it bad parenting? IS the teen, in fact, that innocent just because they’re underage? I’m a believer in the notion that the Internet is NOT a babysitter, and you shouldn’t let your children online without supervision.

Anyone else have opinions or thoughts on this?