What if the whole world farted at once?

Hot Seats

Posted in Hot Babes, Politics on January 21st, 2010 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

Mike…ummm… caught and kept my attention tonight with his post about Massachusetts Senator, Scott Brown. Well, not Scott Brown so much as Scott Brown’s daughters.

Scott Brown's Daughters

Scott Brown's daughters are hot

Well, dang! I hope they’re into politics as much as their father, because I got an open seat for BOTH of them.

Tags: ,

Oh the Insanitea!

Posted in Bullshit, Current Events, Politics, Stupid, Truthiness on April 16th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

tea bag!

Republicans everywhere are pissed at Obama’s spending and have thrown tea parties all over the country. You know, like we did back in Boston around the same time that John McCain was born. Apparently, Republicans don’t like the government spending that’s going on.

I wonder what made ‘em change their minds?

Well, folks, I’m nothing if not generous. And I’ve got a solution for all my pals and it’s simple: Just print more money. Here, this oughta get you started. Pretty soon, it’ll be worth the same as the U.S. dollar, too!

100 Smackers!

Dark Humor

Posted in Assholes, Bullshit, Current Events, Duh, Humor, Insanity, News, Politics, Rants, Stupid, Truthiness on February 22nd, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

It seems that not a day goes by without more “news” on the New York Post’s “scandalous” political cartoon making the headlines again. If you’re an out-of-the-country reader who has no idea what I am talking about, or you’re an American living under a rock, here is the cartoon that is causing all the fuss:

It's a monkey, not a black man

Lotsa folks are pissed about this, claiming the chimp represents Obama and how dare he be portrayed as such, let alone getting shot. I didn’t think of this when I read it, but I guess many people did. *I* thought it just meant that even a monkey could write a stimulus package, and that perhaps the cartoonist got the idea from the recent chimpanzee attack, which happened around the same time the cartoon was printed. And come on, Obama is way taller than a chimpanzee.

It seems that not everyone agrees with me (or the New York Post’s official statement for that matter). No, unfortunately, the world is full of assholes. And one of the biggest ones is leading the charge against the cartoonist (Sean Delonas).

Asshole

The Fish is pleased to present this exclusive, never-before-seen photo of Al Sharpton changing his underpants after first hearing about the editorial cartoon. A representative close to Al Sharpton claims he was so furious that he literally shit his pants. And then giggled about it afterward. Tee hee hee!

Now the NAACP is calling for the firing of Sean Delonas. It will be a sad day for the “freedom of the press” if the NAACP gets its way. With all the problems in the world, I can’t believe so many people are arguing about a fuckin’ chimp cartoon that isn’t even racist.

Mr. Delonas, if you are reading this, may I suggest next time you put Al Sharpton in your cartoon instead of the chimp?

Tags: , , , ,

Inauguration Distress

Posted in Bullshit, Humor, News, Oddities, Politics on December 3rd, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

Uncle Sam has decided that certain items are forbidden at President (Yes, PRESIDENT, not President-Elect. Fuck Bush) Obama’s inauguration. Some things on the list make sense, like… Well, none of the stuff on the list makes sense, actually. But it’s the government we’re talking about here, so it’s not supposed to make sense. If it did, then the world as we know it would probably explode. Only in a world where I am married to Leighton Meester can the United States government do something right.

Leighton Meester

One of the items on the list is an umbrella. Clearly this is to keep away British spies. We can’t allow just anyone to drop in, sing songs, and try and get us to feed the birds.

Mary Poppins

Backpacks are not permitted either. And for good reason. The last thing we need is some nutcase to come in with a backpack hoping to shoot a spook. No, we definitely can’t have that.

Who ya gonna call?

Strollers are also on the list, which you might think is dumb. And it is (I said it was the government, didn’t I?). But allowing strollers means someone could sneak in secret weapons far worse than guns or explosives.

Baby Herman

But at least we’re safe from the terrorists, right?

Cheney

“That Won”

Posted in Awesome, Humor, Politics, Truthiness on November 5th, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Barack Obama - THAT WON

Afishionados,

What else is there to say?

VOTE OR STFU

Posted in Great Ideas, Politics, Truthiness on November 4th, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Vote for Obama

Afishionados,

GO VOTE!

One Week to Go to Vote for Joe

Posted in Buddies, Bullshit, Current Events, Great Ideas, Humor, Politics, Truthiness on October 28th, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Vote Joey!

Afishionados,

With a situation this fucked up, we need an experienced fuck up to lead us. Vote Polanski on November 4th.

UPDATE per the request of Mr. Presidenski himself:

Vote Joey!

Tags:

McCain’s New Ride

Posted in Assholes, Bullshit, Evil, Graphic Design, Great Ideas, Humor, Observations, Oddities, Politics, Truthiness on October 8th, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

John McCain's new car

Afishionados,

Breaking news! Old Fish and Lemonade is pleased to present this exclusive photo of John McCain’s new car for his motorcade should he be elected president. (Click the photo for a bigger view.)

Is John McCain Gay?

Posted in Assholes, Buddies, Graphic Design, Humor, Politics, Truthiness on September 8th, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Is John McCain Gay?

Afishionados,

Kudos to Mike for the idea. It just needed the Official John McCain Logo on it. How nice of John to use the Optima font and star clip art from Photoshop. And a few words to help the search engines find it. Homosexual John McCain and his gay lover support gay marriage! There, that oughta do it.

A Pole-litical Campaign Ad

Posted in Awesome, Buddies, Bullshit, Humor, Politics, Truthiness on September 7th, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Immense thanks to Anaglyph for supporting our candidate!

Tags: