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A Perky Turkey

Posted in Australia, Birds, Holidays, Hot Babes, Humor on November 22nd, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

Turkey on Thanksgiving is

The dish that’s most preferred.

I thought this year that I would try

A different sort of bird.

Hot birdy

I’ve always hoped to try it

My mind can’t help but wonder

Just how friggin GOOD a bird

Might be when from Down Under.

And now that I have found one

I’m sure it is the best

But now I’m torn, where should I start?

Hot birdy
With thigh?

Hot birdy
or with a breast?

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Cut from the Team

Posted in Assholes, Bullshit, Fuck it, Hot Babes, Humor, Insanity on November 16th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

I’ve left Sterling Cooper for another job because Sterling Cooper wasn’t as advertised. I’ve been away from the office for about a week now, but one of my former colleagues sent along an image her latest project:

This would make me want to cut my wrists

This would make me want to cut my wrists

According to Peggy, she has to cut 22 triangles out of 800 cards. That’s 17,600 triangles, or 52,800 cuts. This is perhaps the biggest reason I left Sterling Cooper in the first place: All I was ever asked to do was stand and cut shit out. And boy am I glad I left before THIS shit started. I don’t know what happened to the “participate in critiques” and the “work on design projects” spiel that was posted on the Sterling Cooper web site because “bitch work” is all I was ever asked to do.

The new gig is off to a good start, but I already miss Miss Holloway. All the time we spent together coming and going, in and out and in and out and in and out at the office…

*Sniff*.

Goodbye, Miss Holloway, you will be missed.

Goodbye, Miss Holloway, you will be missed.

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I Should Have Been Specific

Posted in Birds, Bullshit, Evil, Humor, Poetry on November 12th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

The wrong kind of hooter

The wrong kind of hooter

Just outside my window

It seems I’ve got a guest.

An owl that wasn’t there before

Has gone and built a nest.

I asked Spaghetti Monster for

The best hooters he could find

Instead I got this fuckin’ owl

That’s not what I had in mind.

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This Day in History

Posted in Buddies, Bullshit, Duh, Humor on November 12th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

Jozafat and Majewski Polanski on the old shipski

Jozafat and Majewski Polanski on the old shipski

On this day in the early 1900s, Jozafat and his homunculus, Majewski, are the first Polanski immigrants to settle and start a new life in America. Unfortunately, due to anti-Semitic locals and a failure to communicate, Jozafat struggles to find work due to constantly introducing his homunculus by stating, “This here’s Majewski.”

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Soothing Soup

Posted in Bullshit, Duh, Food, Humor, Observations, Oddities, Photos, Stupid on November 8th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

The holidays are approaching and stress levels seem to to increase as that happens. At least in my family. We don’t do a single holiday without a good fight over something really retarded. Anyhow, intrepid Afishionado Simply C. might just have the solution in getting the family to chill the fuck out:

Better than the Man Chowder

Better than the Man Chowder