Afishionados,

I was watching a TV this week and a commercial made mention of hypnotizing a lizard. I wasn’t paying attention and that is all I heard, but suffice to say it was strange enough to pique my curiosity. And so I Searched™ for it and found this web site.

According to eHow, it’s is possible to hypnotize a lizard. Here is how you can do it:

Step 1:

Retrieve your lizard from his enclosure, according to your preferred method, avoiding the tail. Very small lizards like anoles need to be picked up under their shoulders. Some lizards, like bearded dragons, will automatically cling to your hand.

Well, my lizard doesn’t have a tail, but if yours does, then you’re covered. Or if you’re Polanski and your lizard is very small, then be glad the instructions cover that, too. Continuing on…

Step 2:

Wait a little while for the worst of the wriggling to subside. The time it takes is different for each lizard.

Ain’t it the truth, though?

Step 3:

Gently turn the lizard over so its belly is showing. If the lizard won’t cooperate, don’t push the issue.

If your lizard’s belly is showing, then he’s prolly really excited. Which is good, isn’t it?

Step 4:

Lightly stroke the lizard’s belly. Keep doing so until the lizard seems to be in a hypnotic trance.

Ooooooooooo, boy! Isn’t this just about the BEST part of hypnotizing your lizard? DANG!

Step 5:

Gently replace the lizard in its cage or enclosure. Check twice to see if the lid or door is firmly closed.

Sometimes, hypnotizing your lizard just doesn’t last as long as you’d like it to.

Step 6:

Clean your hands throughly with soap and hot water. Take care of any scratches.

If you scratched your lizard, then you stroked the belly too hard. And if your lizard scratched you, well, maybe it’s best to trim the beard around that dragon.

Personally, I don’t need a six step method for hypnotizing my lizard:

Yea, entrance is just the word I’m thinking of…

Tags: hypnotize, lizard

This entry was posted on Sunday, April 5th, 2009 at 1:46 pm and is filed under Bullshit, Hot Babes, Humor, Insanity, Mind Wandering, Oddities. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.