Wand Wranglers
Posted in Bullshit, Duh, Humor, Movies, Observations on December 29th, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
He'll give you hogwarts
Albus Dumbledore is the Headmaster at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry from the Harry Potter books. He’s a wizard, Order of Merlin First Class. He’s also gay.
Gandalf the White doesn't care about Labor Day
This is Gandalf the White from The Lord of the Rings. He’s played by the actor Ian McKellan. Ian is, in fact, not a wizard at all. But he is a homosexual.
Ain't NASCAR just grand?
This is a redneck. He thinks the Grand Wizard is a swell guy. I wonder if he’s aware of the pattern I’ve discovered among wizards…
Christmas Eve
Posted in Duh, Holidays, Hot Babes, Humor on December 24th, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
Hey, whaddya know?
Christmas Eve
It’s Christmas Eve.
Happy Holidaze
Posted in Bullshit, Family, Holidays, Humor, Nasty, Observations, Oddities, Pets on December 20th, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
Christmas time must be here, because the family has been arriving throughout the day (and night). The half of the family that is already here has been scurrying and cleaning for hours now. Doc has been hard at work, tackling the ongoing battle that is the cat litter box. A neat-freak whose pedantry rivals event the best, Doc not only scrubs the shitbox out, but filters and sifts for the tiniest of cat nuggets in much the same way as one might pan for gold. Like Jane Goodall among the apes, I observe from the sidelines and, as best as I can tell, the ultimate goal is to remove even the most miniscule of trinkets and reuse as much litter as possible.
Panning for Cat Shit
Seeing as how Doc is Chinese, I suppose the cat should be glad it gets such exceptional treatment. After all, it could be much worse.
The other white meat.
Which Way Did I Go?
Posted in Bullshit, Duh, Humor, Oddities, Travels on December 9th, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
On my way to Cincinnati this morning, I felt as though I had temporarily lost my way for a bit. It was almost as if I couldn’t remember who I was, what I was doing, or how I got there. The NPR program on the radio… Had I heard it before? Strange that so many things felt familiar, and yet brand new at the same time. Fortunately, everything came swirling back to me and I regained cognition after just a few miles on the highway. How odd…
Which Way Did I Go?
Nun the Miser
Posted in Duh, Humor, Poetry, Religion on December 5th, 2009 by Atlas Cerise
Nun the Miser
But Sally was not having fun.
She’d asked for a toy
That she’d hoped to enjoy
But instead ended up getting nun.
Come One, Come All!
Posted in Australia, Awesome, Buddies, Bullshit, Holidays, Humor, Insanity, Nasty, Oddities, Plugs, Poetry, Rasputin on December 2nd, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
Come one, come all! Come as many times as you can!
The inmates escaped from white rooms!
They’ve chewed their restraints
And caused many complaints
From the Rev on the day of our doom.
A Perky Turkey
Posted in Australia, Birds, Holidays, Hot Babes, Humor on November 22nd, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
The dish that’s most preferred.
I thought this year that I would try
I’ve always hoped to try it
My mind can’t help but wonder
Just how friggin GOOD a bird
Might be when from Down Under.
–
And now that I have found one
I’m sure it is the best
But now I’m torn, where should I start?
With thigh?
or with a breast?
Cut from the Team
Posted in Assholes, Bullshit, Fuck it, Hot Babes, Humor, Insanity on November 16th, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
I’ve left Sterling Cooper for another job because Sterling Cooper wasn’t as advertised. I’ve been away from the office for about a week now, but one of my former colleagues sent along an image her latest project:
This would make me want to cut my wrists
According to Peggy, she has to cut 22 triangles out of 800 cards. That’s 17,600 triangles, or 52,800 cuts. This is perhaps the biggest reason I left Sterling Cooper in the first place: All I was ever asked to do was stand and cut shit out. And boy am I glad I left before THIS shit started. I don’t know what happened to the “participate in critiques” and the “work on design projects” spiel that was posted on the Sterling Cooper web site because “bitch work” is all I was ever asked to do.
The new gig is off to a good start, but I already miss Miss Holloway. All the time we spent together coming and going, in and out and in and out and in and out at the office…
*Sniff*.
Goodbye, Miss Holloway, you will be missed.
I Should Have Been Specific
Posted in Birds, Bullshit, Evil, Humor, Poetry on November 12th, 2009 by Atlas CeriseAfishionados,
The wrong kind of hooter
It seems I’ve got a guest.
An owl that wasn’t there before
Has gone and built a nest.
–
I asked Spaghetti Monster for
The best hooters he could find
Instead I got this fuckin’ owl
That’s not what I had in mind.
