My Interview with God
Afishionados,
Vixxie’s latest post gave me an idea. I decided to interview God. Here, for your viewing pleasure, is my unedited interview (along with all of God’s answers) in full. Please enjoy.
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Man, even his interviews are like ghostly apparitions. How fucking cool is that?
If you was plannin t write it on stone tablets, Im sure God wouda had a lot more t say.
mike: Well I think the interview says it all.
Joey: I save stone tablets for heavy conversations.
Joey, quite blasphemously,
Then questiond Gods divinity:
“For whats so divine,
Changin watr to wine?
I jus changd some beer inta pee.”
Well, well, well,! It appears as if I’ve been linked by the Great Atlas Cerise Himself! And I thought this would be just another day!
When intrviewd, God was upbeat:
“Evolution, at last, is complete!”
His face all afrown,
Atlas wrote it all down,
A-holdin th pen wif his feet.
18? It’s 16 over here but I guess I can wait
Vixxie: 16? DANG! I gotta move to England! I mean… um… that’s interesting.
Adam took Eve by th hand,
And, pointin to Atlas, began:
“I knew that a chick,
Was a man wif no dick;
But look, heres a dick wif no man!”
God stepped back and reflected
His creation He looked at, inspected
“How can it be
That Joe’s head’s ‘tween his knees
And his dick ended up where is neck did?”
Vixxie: Yea, I linked you. But I’m not do anything more than that until you’re 18.
Joey:
On the sixth day, late into night
God worked hard as to get Man “just right”
He finished, although
He also made Joe
The world’s first hermaphrodite
While up fer some Bible role-playin,
I tryd to say whom Im portrayin;
But Atlas was fleetr,
And said, “I am Peter,”
And I said, “That goes wifout sayin.”
Well that answers the old “Your country or mine?” debate.
Joey:
Joe went to church to confess
To the priest, “I like wearin’ a dress”
“Pretend I’m Bo Peep
I say to the sheep
It’s my love that I’ve come to profess.”
Vixxie: Just make sure you don’t end up in some country for old men.
Askd all th women he done,
Atlas replyd, “Only one.”
Absolvd by th priest,
He felt so releasd,
He confessd evn more and said, “Nun.”
Though Polanski knew it a sin
He brought home an altar boy, thin
The boy on his knees
Joe inserted with ease
But the altar boy asked, “Is it in?”
Atlas, when he was quite young,
Was told in th church, “Bite yer tongue!”
But Atlas instead,
Askd, “What have I said?
Dont YOU think our saviors well-hung?”
Here I was just stopping by,
to read but not give a reply.
But I couldn’t wait
and grabbed me the bait
you two rock, this I cannot deny.
Country for old men? I thought Mccain lost..
Fracking brilliant.
When God speaks to me, he sends an email. Usually it contains nekkid pictures of thai hookers, but on many occasions, just penis enlargement ads.
You must have done something to make God hate you.
Think about it
TV