Afishionados,

With a situation this fucked up, we need an experienced fuck up to lead us. Vote Polanski on November 4th.

UPDATE per the request of Mr. Presidenski himself:

Afishionados,

It’s a good thing that flag burning isn’t illegal, because this one is especially hot.

Afishionados,

Thanks to the economic crisis here in the United States, gas is the cheapest I have seen since I lived in South Carolina, which was at least two or three years ago. The price at one of of the local gas stations has it for $2.69, and it seems to be dropping every day. So now at least it’s more affordable for Americans to drive to stores (the ones that are still open, that is) to look at merchandise that they can’t afford to buy. Since gas prices keep falling and everyone in the USA seems to be gobbling it up like candy, I thought I would share the wealth with all of you. Here, have a Sunocone.

Afishionados,

Breaking news! Old Fish and Lemonade is pleased to present this exclusive photo of John McCain’s new car for his motorcade should he be elected president. (Click the photo for a bigger view.)

Afishionados,

One of the latest projects that I am working on involves pictograms and word pairs. While I am not in the habit of posting unfinished projects to the Fish, I feel as though I have completed the basic design of this one. That is to say, while I still have some tweaking to do, I don’t believe I have to make any major changes at this point.

The first stage of the project involved brainstorming 25 word pairs and coming up with a catchphrase for each. For example: Gun + House = Home Security System. From there, choose an artistic style (cubism, bauhaus, etc.) and create pictograms of your word pair in that particular style. You must also stylize the “+” sign to match.

Click for larger size

From my list, I chose “Baby + Marijuana = Shake and Bake” and styled it in art deco. Perhaps the biggest challenge was “matching” the baby to the marijuana. While my original designs were deco, they simply didn’t “go together”. To remedy that, I made the shape inside the center of the marijuana leaf match the baby’s head, and the shape of the marijuana leaf now appears on the diaper where a diaper pin would go. I think the pictograms came out rather well.

The older I get, the more I find that less and less people have a sense of humor. Not only did this offend the majority of the class, many of them didn’t even get it.

“I think it would work better if you replaced the baby with a rattle. Cuz… you shake a rattle.”

“What are you trying to say? I don’t understand your catchphrase. Is it supposed to mean something?”

Shaking a rattle is not as humorous as shaking a baby. The idea that someone would do something so cruel is precisely what makes it so funny. There is no “higher meaning”, here, either, folks. Really. Apparently, some people just look too deep into things. It’s just a sarcastic phrase that I think is funny. Judging by most of the class’ reaction, however, you’d think I was really getting high and shaking children. Or that I believed it was okay to do so in real life.

Why is it that the world is becoming increasingly politically correct and less funny? What happened, and why are people letting it happen? People will get offended by anything, it seems.

While I don’t think shaking infants and getting baked on pot are things someone should do, it doesn’t mean they’re not funny. There is nothing worse than being ordinary and not standing out. Just like most everyone else’s word pairs and pictograms…

Afishionados,

I was in New York City a couple weeks ago, and I found evidence that Mike has been here as well. It’s no secret that Mike likes to tinker and putter around his own home, but who knew he was extending his knowledge and expertise to New York bathrooms, too? Since the soap/lotion is strategically placed between the sink and the toilet, I’m not sure which one I should use it with.