Too Good To Be True
Afishionados,
A friend of mine mentioned that he’ll be visiting The Creation Museum. Not because he’s religious or believes any of it, but because there’s really nothing good playing in theaters and he needs a good laugh.
I didn’t even realize that there was a creationist museum. But apparently it’s true, and it’s in Kentucky, which, I guess, makes sense because Kentucky isn’t the brightest state in the Union. It’s only about an hour from my house, and I’m tempted to visit myself. I’m not sure I can justify handing over the $20 admission fee, though. It just feels… dirty. At least I know I’m being had before I go in, you know? But I guess there are people out there who believe this shit is for real. I think I’d rather visit Disney World. At least Disney World admits it’s just a fantasy.
Despite the fact that I know it’s all a farce, my curiosity led me to their web site. Imagine my surprise when I was greeted with this on the front page!
Well, shit! This changes EVERYTHING! You mean if I visit the Creation Museum I get to pet friggin’ dinosaurs?!?! Dang! I’m so there!
The museum even has an answer for the existence of dinosaurs. See? People used to ride them! Never mind the fact that no archaeologist has ever uncovered the existence of a dinosaur saddle because this proves that it’s true. This is an exact replica of the dinosaur that Mary rode to Bethlehem. And you thought she rode a donkey! By the way, Creationists, I think you owe royalties to the very talented Mr. James Gurney. You totally ripped him off, and his fantasy stories are WAY better.
The museum was designed by some former exhibit director for Universal Studios. And it shows, because all the dinosaurs on display look exactly like those from Jurassic Park (a Universal Studios movie), right down to their sculpting, paint jobs, and inaccuracies. The velociraptors, for example, are the same 6 foot size as they were in the JP film. In reality, velociraptors, while 6 feet long, were only about 1.5 to 2 feet in height. While I’m not surprised that the Creationists got this ‘minor’ detail wrong, it just goes to show you that they really did steal the models from Jurassic Park.
Rest assured, should I ever visit, I’ll definitely take my camera along to the Petting Zoo and take pictures of all the cool dinosaurs. My first stop, though, will be stopping by Jesus’ cage. For some reason, it just seems polite to pet him first.
Jesus prefers 12 men to be petting him.
C.Rag: Just like AngryMan!
All night long.
And dinasaurs went extinckt because Noah hadta make room on th ark for bofe Gingr AND Mary Ann.
>>You mean if I visit the Creation Museum I get to pet friggin’ dinosaurs?!?! Dang! I’m so there!
You think that’s an accident that they did that? Hook the kids before they get any critical facilities in place and you’ve got ‘em for life.
PS. You might not know, but Ken Ham who is responsible for the Creation Museum is an Australian. He couldn’t get a job here.
“Ken Ham”??!!! BWHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAW!!
C.Rag: What’s he see in you then? Have you got a big wiener?
Joey: Thankfully, Gilligan, he took a couple Poles with him, too.
anaglyph: Are you referring to Disney or the Creation Museum?
anaglyph: I did not know that he was Australian, no. You must be so proud.
Sara Sue: I heard that you were porkin’ him.
He has to have a cover so a sex craze wife is a good one.
Haha! This is hilarious, I love your blog.
Thanks for stopping by mine earlier, good luck with the cake-lady!
I am SO blogrolling this!
Genius!
Cuddles and cookies,
Vixxie.
I guess they took the “creationism” seriously and are just creating whatever they feel like.
I am still trying to wrap my tiny brain around “creationism museum. IT does feel dirty and wrong.
But funny
TV
Jesus doesn’t believe in petting.
And the reason no one ever found a dinosaur saddle is that back then, men were tough and didn’t need saddles. Saddles were invented by sissies so they could ride side saddle.
I believe that people rode dinosaurs. Hell, my wife rides one every night.
Of course I kid. I can’t get it up every night.
But she does ride one 2 or 3 times a year.