The first project for my typography class is due tomorrow. I just finished it a few hours ago. It took a lot more time to do that I thought it would. I didn’t think that shaping oneself with individual characters of a font would be so tedious. This is the photo that I selected for the project.

The next step is to take the photo and create a line drawing from it. Aside from the hair and eyebrows, I regret shading in the other dark areas. It ended up just being a distraction later on. The line drawing is on tracing paper. The idea was to trace as many shapes and features as possible while still keeping it a simple line drawing. I ended up tracing more detail than I needed, as did most people I think.

This is the final part of the project, the typographical representation of oneself. The assignment dictated the following:

1.) Only black and white.
2.) You may use symbols and numbers.
3.) You had to incorporate words that go with the what you are trying to say about yourself.
4.) You have to give credit to the artist if you use song lyrics.

Since I have a small¹ obsession with Missy Higgins, I chose to use her song “Steer.” It’s about taking control of your life and knowing where you want to go. I can’t think of any better song to describe my life right now.

The hardest part of this project was the hair and eyebrows. My first mock up had lyrics overlapped to the point where they were illegible. The plus side is that it created a darker look to it, but it made my hair look curly. I changed it to the Agency font because it’s straighter. I lost some of the contrast of the overall image by doing this, but damn it if the curly hair look didn’t drive me nuts.

To see a larger version of the final image, click here.

¹Huge

If you rape a prostitute, is it sexual abuse or shoplifting?

Special thanks to C.Rag for submitting her photo for this post.

The paperwork for the Big D has been filed, finalizing what I’ve been waiting for since June of 2007. As part of the agreement, Herbie will be going back to Washington state to live out the rest of his days without me. So sad.

I loved cars as a kid, especially Herbie the love bug. A tenacious car with a mind of its own and a penchant for adventure and trouble. What’s not to love? I think it was the Herbie movies that attracted me to Volkswagens in the first place.

The New Beetle had captivated my attention since it went on sale in 1998. It’s hard to believe that it’s been 10 years since its debut to the public. The first one my family owned was a 2000 GLS. It was silver, had a manual transmission, and a really sweet tape deck. “The Pod”, as it was later christened (complete with vanity plates stating so), belonged to my younger stepsister, Ly¹.

She used to let me ride with her once in a while (read: all the time), especially if it was dark out and none of her friends could see me hanging out with her in public. We had many a good time in that car, and I have a lot of fond memories. Some of my favorites include:

Watching Ly hook up the kick-ass CD player via the cigarette lighter and tape adapter to listen to a song at the loudest possible audible level known to mankind only to change to a completely different song a mere 30 seconds into it.

Going to Taco Bell at 2 A.M. during their 39 cent taco days, ordering 30 tacos, then paying with a bag full of pennies.

Watching Ly attack crash into a shopping cart in an otherwise empty grocery store parking lot at 15 MPH. “I didn’t see it,” she said. How can you miss a shopping cart directly in front of you in an empty parking lot?

My first “real” car (meaning, my first new one and not some used clunker) was a red 2002 New Beetle. I got it in college. It had absolutely no optional features aside from an automatic engine. Hand crank windows, baby! OH YEA! But it was mine, and I loved it.

At one point in time, we actually had as many as four New Beetles, a Jetta, and two Touaregs in the family. That’s a lot of Volkswagens to have in your driveway at family get togethers.

I have always wanted to make a Herbie out of a New Beetle, and in 2005 I did just that. At least, sort of. A dealership in South Carolina had a GLS on the lot that was done up like Herbie. Apparently no one was interested in the car because it hadn’t sold or had many potentially interested customers. This was also during the year end sales event, when the redesigned 2006 bugs had just come out. The E.B.² and I were in the market for a new car. Herbie had every option available at the time (with the exception of traction control) installed. It really was Herbie: Fully Loaded, so to speak. We got a good deal on him, and so Herbie was purchased.

It’s been one of the most fun cars I’ve ever owned or driven. One of my favorite hobbies in Charleston was to clean up Herbie on the weekend, drive down to the battery, park him, and watch the tourist’s reactions. The overseas tourists were always the most fun, as most seemed to have no idea why the car was made to look like a race car or what the stripes and “53″ were all about. One time a news van even pulled up and shot some footage of the car, though I never saw it make the television broadcast.

Driving onto military bases in a New Beetle done up like Herbie is also something that I will never forget. The car was a total chick magnet in Charleston (sexy southern women love Herbie, apparently) but driving into security gates with armed guards was completely different. The faces of the guards were often priceless, as they weren’t quite sure how anyone in the military could drive a Herbie bug. But even armed men and women in uniform can’t hide a smirk or a chuckle from such an iconic symbol such as Herbie. Whether they’d admit it or not, I think they liked it, too.

Within a month, however, Herbie is going away. I have mixed feelings about this, as I’ve grown quite attached to the little car and I like the attention that it receives. In the end, though, it really is just a car with decals, and not worth fussing over, especially if relinquishing it grants me my freedom.

So, since Herbie is west coast bound, I’m left to get a new vehicle. I’m not so starry-eyed for the Volkswagen brand anymore (and no VW could ever top the fun I’ve had with Herbie), so Volkswagen was out this time around. Instead I’m going with a Toyota, because people that own them really love them, they’re highly rated by Consumer Reports, and, according to a lot of car magazines and “experts”, they’re better built than most cars and last longer than the competition.

Well, I didn’t go with Toyota exactly. I went with a Scion, but they’re made by Toyota. Since I don’t have any money, my options were pretty limited. Unfortunately, most “affordable” cars are poorly manufactured, have very little standard features, and are hideously ugly or plain looking.

I’ve always liked the look the the Scion tC. I looked at getting one around the same time that I shopped for Herbie, but the car hadn’t been out long enough to get any sense of quality or reliability so I passed. The car has been out for sometime now, and it’s gotten pretty good praise. So far, I’m really happy with it.

Plus, the standard features and price are hard to beat. The tC comes standard with:

1.) Integrated iPod control – plug in your iPod and control it through the car’s stereo system.

2.) Retractable sunroof and rear “mini sunroof” – the whole ceiling of the car is glass, and the front part of the sunroof opens. The backseat gets one, too, but it doesn’t open. Still, a rear “roof window” is neat.

3.) 17″ Alloy wheels – Not steel rims with a plastic hubcap. I hate those.

4.) Cruise control – Perfect for those Chicago trips to see Missy Higgins!

5.) Subwoofer – Sure, it’s not the greatest sub in the world, but it’s still adds a lot of bass to the stereo system. I don’t even know if any other cars in the same class as the Scion offer a subwoofer as standard.

6.) Lots of airbags – Even has side curtain airbags to protect my delicate head.

7.) Keyless entry – Inserting the key into the side of the door is so 1990s.

8.) 60/40 fold down rear seats – The Beetle had a collapsable rear seat, but it didn’t split. Sometimes you don’t need the whole backseat to fold down.

9.) Halogen headlights – Great for getting behind idiots and blinding them for driving like morons.

And while I’m certainly not going to win any races, the 161 HP engine is a very welcome step up from Herbie’s standard and ultimately subpar 115. It’s also supposed to get better gas mileage than the Beetle, but I’ve yet to verify this for myself.

I like the look, I like the features, and I like the price (less than $19,000). There are some amenities from Herbie that I will miss, but I think this is the best car for my lack of buck right now.

So, with a new car and my freedom, on to bigger and better things!

¹Pronounced “Lee”. Name changed to protect the privacy of the more innocent than me.
²Evil Bitch

I had lunch at the mall this afternoon and noticed that these little buggers were placed on all the tables at the food court. I’ve pulled some strings, and am pleased to present you with this exclusive behind the scenes photo of the entire cast of Walt Disney on Ice Presents Finding Nemo.

Back to Chicago, baby! And this time with a couple of friends and an extra day to see some sights. Woo hoo!

I feel that there is very little else to say, as the cover says it best.

Click for a Larger View

I found this gem at my local bookstore and simply had to take a photo to share. I wish I had $23.00 so I could watch this. You just know it’s gotta be so cheesy and bad that it’s worth watching. I hope it gets released in IMAX 3D at some point.

So, if you and your loved one are looking to spice things up, look no further. They even give you two pairs of 3D glasses. All you’ll need is a nice box of wine. And someone as desperate as you to watch this stupid movie with.

The bookstore also carries Jesus Christ: Vampire Hunter. I would LOVE to watch this one, too. But it saddens me to say that I don’t think it comes in a 3D version.

Well, folks, as I had hoped correctly assumed, Oprahnomics has yielded more blogging material. I even took notes so I would remember to cover everything that Harpo has been spewing out from her loud, obnoxious mouth.

I’ve only had the class for two days and already I want to take a bat to her head (Note to school staff and authorities: this is meant as sarcasm) Or maybe to my own head, to put me out of my own misery. It’s amazing the things you can get a degree in these days, not to mention the fact that you can then go on to teach it, too.

The first thing that Harpo “taught” us this week was how to use a phone. Amazing. I don’t mean this as a metaphor for something more. She literally explained how to use the telephone. My head still aches from smacking it on my desk. And the class only gets better from there.

Harpo attempted to get the class involved in a discussion about various ways that people communicate. Of course the easiest and most common ways, such as talking and writing, were shouted out immediately. But then, it seemed, my classmates were at a standstill. Harpo, however, still sought answers. She offered up a clue.

“How am I communicating with you right now?”

I normally don’t get involved in discussions for dumb classes at school, but it seems to be the mentality of the average student to simply sit like a bump on a log and to never answer a question or offer an opinion. This makes already dull classes that much more boring, so once in a while I have to step up to the plate and offer my own take on things.

I placed the pointer and middle finger of both my hands on the sides of my head and offered Harpo an answer to her question. “By means of your psychic omnipotence?”

Turns out I was wrong.

I have no idea if the right answer was ever given out. I stopped listening to Harpo ramble and instead starting thinking about my graphic projects in my other classes. That is, until Harpo started showing us slides from her missionary work in Africa.

“Can you tell which one is me?” she asked us, giggling.

“Yea,” I thought. “You’re the only white, fat Christian among the whole group of black, tribal women.” But I didn’t say it. Instead, I went back to working on my other projects, at least in my head.

The last thing I head Harpo say before class was dismissed was that she used to ride her bike in the summer time and pack it away for the winter. Then, once summer came round again, she forgot how to ride her bike and had to learn all over again.

What kind of idiot forgets how to ride a bike? Whether or not she knows how to ride a bike today isn’t clear. But there’s no arguing the fact that when she used to, she obviously forgot her helmet.

I don’t know how much more of this class I can take.

A new college quarter begins for me, and with it new classes. One of which is required for my major and is entitled “Interpersonal Communications.” I was under the impression that the class was designed to teach you how to get your ideas and points across, but it seems that is not entirely the case. It’s highly possible that this class will provide for more interesting stories, so just in case, let’s call this professor “Harpo”.

Harpo has promised the entire class that her course is THE most important class of our LIVES, as well as our major. I’m not making this up, I swear. She really did say that, and it was in that particular order. Unfortunately for her, I don’t believe her for the following reasons:

1.) She is WAY too excited about her class.
2.) She’s happy in that Chicken Soup for the Soul kind of way.
3.) She’s wrong.

Today’s class was spent harping (no pun intended) on how important the textbook is and how there is NO WAY that we will pass without it. Apparently, just possessing a copy of the book is not enough, though, as reading it is also imperative in attaining a passing grade in the class. A double whammy, if you ask me.

To make matters worse, the tests that she’s going to give us are multiple choice. But this ain’t yer mama’s multiple choice test. These multiple choice tests are going to be (and I quote) “hard.” The course material can’t be memorized and spit back out, you have to understand the material. You know, “To bend the spoon is impossible. Instead you must realize the truth” kinda thing.

After beating this horse to death for about 45 minutes, Harpo switched gears and grabbed a bowl of M&Ms from her desk. The M&Ms were of the dark chocolate variety, and were the colors of Fall: red, maroon, yellow, and brown. Harpo instructed everyone in the class to take a handful (I’m sure everyone washed their hands, right?) and continue to pass the bowl around until everyone had some, but not to eat them until she gave the okay.

Now, I don’t care how crazy you are, if you offer me free chocolate, I’m willing to listen to you. At least until I am done eating it, or you run out. Whichever comes first. Naturally, I took quite a few M&Ms because they were free, right in front of me, free, I was told to, I like chocolate, and they were free. I think I ended up with the following colors: one yellow, one red, seven maroon, and zero brown.

Once the M&Ms had been passed around, Harpo brought up “the catch”. As it turns out, each of the different colors represented something. Like in a “New Age chakra” sort of way. I’d been swindled!

Harpo then wrote up on the board what each of the individual colors meant:

1.) Yellow – future
2.) Red – family
3.) Maroon – favorite
4.) Brown – nature

Harpo explained that everyone in the class had to share something about themselves, and had to share one thing for each M&M of that color that they had picked.

Before she’d even finished writing “Red” on the board, I’d wolfed down all but one of my maroon M&Ms. What the hell? I didn’t realize that I had signed up for Oprahnomics 101. Did she getting her teaching degree out of Cosmo? Had the room not been so small, I would have sworn Dr. Phil was hiding out in there with a hidden camera crew.

But if it was feelings she wanted to talk about, it was feelings she was going to get. My responses to each color were this:

1.) Yellow: I hoped that by behaving myself and finishing school that I would make my parole officer happy and keep the law of my back.
2.) Red: My family lost me in Mexico and I lived with a foreign family for several years before being reunited.
3.) Maroon: My favorite celebrity was of the naked female kind.

We’re supposed to keep a journal about all our feelings for this class, so I’m open to suggestions for more incredible tales to put into it. What other adventures have I embarked on that I should share?