I stopped at Circuit City this afternoon and happened upon a very random item in their parking lot: a pair of boxer shorts.

Circuit City is an electronics store and there are no department or clothing stores nearby, so I could not think of any good reason why someone would leave their underwear in Circuit City’s parking lot. Speculations welcome.

So the past couple of days, I find myself taking it out more often than I used to and playing with it. Since I feel as though I am still learning how to properly handle and use it, I don’t like to mess around with it unless I am alone. I’d just get too embarassed if someone walked in on me while I was fooling around with it for no good reason.

It’s bigger than most people’s, that’s for sure. I’ve seen some of my friends’ and mine is a lot larger than theirs. Sometimes it protrudes so far out there that it’s very difficult to hold it steady and get it to do what I want. Things end up really messy and I find it’s often just plain hard to focus when I twist it out as far as it will go.

I’ve felt that the hardest part of it all is getting it to do it’s thing when I’m in a dark room. It sounds odd, I know, but it’s so much easier to control and manipulate when there’s plenty of light. Things just go a lot more smoothly this way.

I love holding it in my hands, though. Boy, does that feel good! It’s so hard, yet pleasantly round and agile. It’s a real beauty and, when it works, it works great. I could wrap my fingers around it all day. It’s a shame I can’t do this to it whenever I want. Heck, even the ladies thinks it’s sexy looking. (Sometimes, if she’s really good, I’ll let her hold it, stroke it, and occasionally use it.)

But, still, I’ve got a big problem with 300mm shots. I can’t seem to get one in focus, so I think I’ll end up buying a tripod. That’s what the guy at the camera shop recommended, anyway. What, did you think I was talking about something else?

I did some voluntold work (thank you Navy!) at an animal shelter here in Everett a few days ago. Snapped this photo with my camera phone. I say it’s good advice to live by.

The official web site of 2008 Presidential hopeful Joey Polanski caught fire and burned down to the server last evening around 9:12 P.M. PST. Investigators on the scene linked the fire directly to Mr. Polanski, crockpot, and a very large fart. One eyewitness reported that, “the stench could be smelled through many linked blogs. It was terrible. it smelled like stew meat, broccoli, water chestnuts, bamboo shoots, onions, mushrooms, corn, soy sauce, various peppers, and salt.”

Mr. Polanski, pictured above smiling after releaving himself, could not be reached for immediate comment.

HINT: Click for answer

I took this photo from the backseat of a car while stopped for a red light. How hard up for cash are you that you’d have to shop at a Goodwill Outlet store? Is this where they send the “higher priced” Goodwill merchandise if it doesn’t sell? Maybe I can pick up a pair of some washed out jeans from the 80’s or get a good deal on some pre-worn underpants!

Does your car suffer from a severe case of feminine itch? Does your vagina look a little low on the lube? These logos are awfully similar, don’tcha think?

Whilst cleaning the ol’ porcelain bowl of acceptance, I noticed a good sized yellow stain on the side of it. Now, what I’d like to know is what exactly that stain is and how it got there. Cuz’ I’ve got a pretty good aim¹ and unless someone else is breaking into my apartment, I don’t know who else to blame.

A urinary conspiracy? Is someone coming in and using my toilet without my permission? Hey, maybe it’s Wiz!

¹I even added a nightlight to the bathroom as to enhance the middle-of-the-night micturating rituals

My attention span has gotten much sh

A couple nights ago, I kept hearing that annoying beeping sound of a large truck backing up. I ignored it at first, but when it went on for a good 5+ minutes, I rose from the couch to seek out the source of the annoyance. After all, there’s only so much parking lot on which one can backup on, you know?

Lo and behold, it was a firetruck. I watched as one of the firemen carried a shovel to the back of the apartment. For what reason, I am left only to wonder, as no hoses of any kind were used during the incident. (I like to think someone’s annoying bird fell from the window and immediately died on impact and that the fireman was going to bury the little bastard. I hate birds.)

Luckily, I was prepared with my new camera and I had time to take a photo. Ironically, a similiar incident occurred whilst living in an apartment in Columbus, Ohio. I woke up one morning to the sounds of sirens. LOTS of sirens. I looked out the window and at least thirty fire trucks were parked alongside the street. No fire could be seen anyplace, but it’s nice to know that the entire city’s firetruck supply showed up…just in case.

Moral of the story? Live near me and you will burn.