Afishionados,

Holy crap I just found out tonight that HEROES season one is available on DVD now. I found it at Wal-Mart while I made a mad dash for some coax cable. So go get it while it’s still on sale (the DVD, not the coax cable). It’s one of the best television shows on right now (which, depending on your point of view, may not be saying a whole lot).

The plot in a nutshell is this: An eclipse of the earth leads various people all over the world to suddenly discover that they haver super powers. Most people have just one specific ability, but there are exceptions to the rules :-X. These “heroes” must come together to stop a mysterious villain and to save the world from a nuclear attack that takes place in the future.

It may sound corny, and honestly, it is a little. But come on, what super hero story isn’t cheesy? If you like LOST but are turned off by the way that you simply MUST watch every episode in order to keep up with its enigmatic plot, then HEROES is for you. It’s got the same kinda “What the FUCK is going on here?” sense to it, but, for the most part, you get your answers sooner than later.

This is one of my favorite shows, and it’s refreshing to see a series as awesome as this hit the airwaves to “compete; with so many atrocious reality TV programs.

Four-and-a-Half really tight Tights out of Five.

If you¹ still need a reason to see HEROES, Hayden Panettiere is now 18 years old. Woo hoo!

¹ A.K.A. Joey Polanski

Afishionados,

Scotty from Star Trek had his ashes onboard a rocket on the way to outer space. Apparently, his last wish was to boldy go where no ashes have gone before. Unfortunately for him, the rocket crashed and landed somewhere in New Mexico. Instead of searching for aliens in space, maybe he’s taking the easy way out by taking a peek through Roswell? He just can’t doooooooo it, Captain! He doesn’t have the powerrrrrrrrr!

Here’s to you, Scotty. I would say “Live long and prosper” but… well… you’re already dead. So, instead: May the Force Be With You.

This news courtesy of Engadget.

Afishionados,

On Sundays, I like to watch ABC’s Extreme Makeover: Home Edition television show. For those of you heartless bastards who don’t watch it, the show’s premise is simple: People send in videos to ABC explaining why they deserve to have ABC build them a brand new house, then ABC chooses one to build for. Usually the families have dilapidated homes due to deaths in the family or medical bills. Almost always, these families have children as well.

The show has a design team of 3 or 4 people. Each person of the team takes on a separate part of the house. There are always a couple people who sit down and ask the children what they would like to see in their “dream bedroom”, then they go on to incorporate these ideas and suggestions into the finished room.

So far, I have seen a bedroom built as a dollhouse, an indoor sandbox, a room designed like a boutique, a room with a fishing boat bed, a camouflage room with an indoor treehouse and slide, a room with a firetruck bed, a “spy room” with toy gadgets everywhere, and a room with a pit of plastic balls for kids to jump in. Every time I watch the show, I think of the exact same thing:

What the hell are these kids gonna do when they’re older, sneak their prom date into the house and up to their room, and proposition them for sex?

Afishionados,

I ordered a TV tuner for my MacBook this week and I’m pleased to announce that Elgato ships their products quickly because it’s already here. Finally, a solution to all my Skinemax LOST and Smallville recording needs.

The EyeTV Hybrid is slightly larger than a usb flash drive and includes a digital as well as analog tuner. The EyeTV software is simple to use and includes TiVo-like functions for scheduling and capturing your shows. It works extremely well and if you’re a Mac user in search of a TV solution for your beloved Apple, look no further.

There is a television station here that broadcasts some really strange foreign programming. I don’t know if it’s Chines, Korean, Japanese, or what, but it is incredibly weird. I never know what the people are saying or exactly why they sing and dance in brightyly colored fluffy dresses, but for 30 seconds or so it’s entertaining. If you’re really good, I may start recording some and showing it to you.

Afishionados,

After three days of oversized maxi pad mattress moving, my weekend is finally here. Day three of being on the Stain Chain Gang was the quickest, and put new meaning to the term “Naval discharge”.

I didn’t do anything last night except watch television. Advertisers must be running out of ideas because the same three or four commercials kept repeating over and over again. I’m pretty sure I got the “message” after the 30th viewing: My brand new white VW Jetta is the safest car in its class and will protect me in the event that I crash into the new Dominos Square Fudge Brownies while Orville Redenbacher rides with me and explains, using antiquated popcorn poppers, why his popcorn is the best in the world!

The most annoying and repetitive commercial is the Dominos brownie offer. You can see the commercial I’m talking about here. It “features” Fudgems, a 3 foot tall fudge brownie who comes to the door along with the delivery guy to bring you (what else?) fudge brownies.

I don’t want to ruin the magic for all you believers out there, but Fudgems is not the High King of the Fudge Brownies that he pretends to be. In reality, he’s a midget in a square costume that’s made of fur. Fur brownies!?! Wait a tick, maybe I am interested in this offer! I mean, come on, who among us out there wouldn’t just love to sink our teeth into some fudgy fur?

I haven’t seen a mascot this stupid since the Olympics. And what’s with the name “Fudgems”? Fudgems sounds like a term for those devious devils that find your way into your underwear when all you meant to do was sneak a squeak.

Say no to Fudgems. Say Yes to Wiz.