P.A.P.E.R. C.L.I.P.

Didgeridoos!

Posted in Australia, Awesome, Family, Great Ideas, Music, Plugs on April 23rd, 2008 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

A shameless plug for my brother tonight because I think he deserves it. My brother, Narrow Dweeb, was in the market for a didgeridoo but discovered that affordable ones are $70+ in the catalogues. The cheaper ones are made from PVC piping and not wood.

So, what is a desperate ex-Marine-gone-Army-Reservist to do? Buy some PVC pipe and a heat gun is what! Yes, Narrow Dweeb has been making his own didgeridoos and playing them on his college campus because he’s crazy. He also has a talent knack for leaving me didgeridoo voicemail messages. At least, I think it’s him because I don’t know any Aboriginal Australians.

Here, for your viewing pleasure, are just a few of his didgeridoo creations. They sound just as good as the real (wooden) ones but look a lot cooler. Especially the flying tiger version, which is my favorite so far.

If this one has a model number, it would be “P-40″.

This one is also quite good and looks a lot like wood after some sanding, staining, and branding. I think it came out nicely.

Here’s a close up look at the “wooden” didgeridoo. It looks great!

I think it people are willing to pay $70 for a didgeridoo that my brother should sell them. I know at least one person who would like to see a Darth Vader or Halo 3 didgeridoo… But I… I mean “he” shall remain nameless.
:-X.

My Plot for the Plotter

Posted in Art, Awesome, Great Ideas on November 16th, 2007 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

I made a most excellent discovery at school tonight. I needed to print off a project for the “Photocopy Wonder” and it was too large to print to a regular printer. Fortunately, the school has a computer lab with a plotter.

For those not in the know, a plotter is a really big, expensive printer that prints from a gigantic roll of paper. So you can print nearly anything you want at any size. Or, at the very least, 3 feet wide and as long as you want.

Kinkos and similar stores want to charge anywhere from $7 to $20 to print off my project. I found out the school will let me print to the plotter for just 50 cents! Any size I want, too! This opens up a whole new world of possibilities. It’s even better than having my own plotter because I don’t have to pay for ink or paper! Awesome!

So, friends and family members reading this: I hope you want posters for Christmas because that’s what you’re getting. I hope you like bikini models.

I’m Not In the Special Olympics

Posted in Apple Mac, Art, Awesome, Computers, Great Ideas, Plugs on November 12th, 2007 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

I thought I’d share a little bit of what I’ve been up to in my Design Basics 2D class this past quarter. At the beginning of the quarter, each student randomly drew the name of a musician from a hat. We weren’t allowed to trade our musician for anyone else’s and we couldn’t redraw if we didn’t like who we picked. The musician we selected was to be the focus of all our projects (whether we liked it or not). I ended up choosing Mozart, which ended up being both good and bad.

I don’t dislike Mozart’s music, but I don’t listen to it either. Other students had the benefit of incorporating song lyrics, photos of their musician, and album covers into their projects. Mozart, of course, doesn’t have much to offer in this regard.

One of our later assignments was to select an object that represents our musician and design five different styles using that image, including: negative space, outline, line drawing, weighted line drawing, and stylized. I went with a violin.

I found a high-res image of a violin on a stock photography web site that I belong to and used that as a reference. Here’s a scan of my stylized image. It’s completely stippled and, unfortunately, doesn’t show up well as a scanned JPG. I used a really fine point marker to make it and it looks much crisper in person, but you get the idea. Of the five required styles, this was my favorite. This and the other four violin images would serve as the basis for future projects as well.

For whatever reason, my professor is obsessed with photocopiers. A later assignment involved taking the original violin images and creating both plural and compound designs from them (Plural incorporating multiple copies of the same image and compound including two different violin images together).

I mention the instructor’s love for the photocopier because she stated that we were not to use the computer whatsoever for any of our plural and compound assignments. Instead, we were supposed to use tissue paper to trace and crop or original violin images and then (of course) photocopy the tissue paper to resize it we needed. From there, you can photocopy your photocopies, cut them out, and arrange them in your plural and compound layouts, then photocopy THAT image to create a final piece. Have you ever tried to trace a stippled image? I don’t know about you, but I simply don’t have that kind of fucking time, not to mention the cost of copying. I bent the rules to my favor and ended up using Photoshop anyway. I scanned my original stippled image, then arranged it in Photoshop to create my final piece. We had to do five compound designs and five plural designs. This image is one of my plural assignments, as well as my favorite of all ten pieces. The “flower” formed by the violins was a happy accident, and I ended up using this on my final project for the class (which I may post at a later date). There is simply no way to get this kind of result by using a photocopier (you can’t overlay the dots!).

Before “bending the rules”, I tried pleading with my instructor to let me use Photoshop. She wouldn’t hear of it. When I asked the logic behind her retarded decision, she said “Not everyone knows how to use Photoshop and the computer, and I want the class to be on a level playing field.”

Oh really? I suppose that’s true, but why should I be punished just because I do know how to use Photoshop and a computer? I tried to explain my logic to her. “Yea, but there’s a regular Olympics and a Special Olympics, and I’m not retarded.” I don’t think I need to tell you that she didn’t appreciate my analogy.

Here’s another one of my projects, this time an example from one of my compound images. I scanned my weighted line drawing and used Photoshop to arrange it with my stylized (stippled) drawing. I really like the contrast between the two images.

If I had to do this project over, I would redo the weighted line drawing to look less like a “horror” violin. If Time Burton had a violin, it would look like this. But, in what little time I had to draw it, I think it came out okay, and still ends up working in the end.

The final assignment that I had to do with my violin drawings was to create a repeating pattern. Again, Photoshop wasn’t permitted but you can see how long it would take to do this by photocopying image after image after image.

Here’s my final tiled piece. It’s the same as my compound image, but around a quarter of the original size (Each assignment had to fit within a 6″ x 6″ square).

I saved hours of pointless photocopying by using my good friend Photoshop once again. Although it only took a few minutes to do this, I’m really happy with how it turned out. If Mozart had to wallpaper his bathroom, this is the pattern he’d use. Or if he had gifts to wrap, or needed a Hawaiian shirt… I suppose I could throw in a couple palm trees to really make it work.

The instructor and I are civil to one another, but I don’t think either of us likes the other very much. She’s the only professor that I know of who teachers 2D Design and prohibits the use of the computer, so I’m sure this will be the last time I sign up for a class with her. But I don’t think the class was a total waste, as I’m really happy with how a lot of my assignments have turned out, not to mention that I’ve gotten really good grades on all my projects. So hopefully I’m doing something right! ;-)

My Proposal

Posted in Australia, Awesome, Great Ideas, Hot Babes, Mind Wandering, Travels on November 8th, 2007 by Atlas Cerise

Afishionados,

What this world needs (and by world I mean Australia and the United States) is a plan that allows citizens of one country (and by citizens I mean me and only me) to exchange citizenship with citizens of another. A one-for-one kinda deal.

A Beautiful Australian Woman

There’s gotta be someone dumb crazy enough to want to leave Australia and move here, right? Plus, I can really help out some of Australia’s citizens.

Look at this woman, for example. She’s posted to the Singles ads because there aren’t enough nice guys in Australia for her to date. Since the US and A seems all about being the world police, I feel it’s my duty to help out this damsel in distress.

She needs a boyfriend and who am I to say no? I am now accepting donations to help the fundraising necessary to complete my plan. I accept all major credit cards, PayPal, Checks, Money Order, and anything I can sell for cash, including but not limited to: your first born child, addictive drugs and medication, and novelty Star Wars toys from the 70s.

Maybe I should get Angela Lansbury to do my commercials, too. You know, have her look all mopey and depressed, walk around crowds of Australian women, and have her say lines like, “For just 10 cents a day, you can make these hot Australian women’s dreams come true.” I think it could work.

Remember, it’s not about helping me, it’s about helping others. So please help by donating today!