Afishionados,

My iPhone posse and I arrived at our local AT&T store around midnight last night. This included my brother-in-law, both stepsisters, and my friend Ross. The parents, who also wanted iPhones but did not want to wait in line for them, arrived and cut in line around 7 A.M. We packed a camping table and collapsable chairs, along with some blankets and pillows to make ourselves as comfortable as possible. We also had doughnuts. Yum. Everyone managed to catch a little sleep. Well, everyone but me. I didn’t sleep a wink, though I finally managed to get in a quick nap around 11 A.M. this morning.

Here is a breakdown by numbers of our little outting:

24 How many doughnuts we had with us.

13 Was my place in the line.

8 Was the number of hours we waited in line.

4 The number of 16 GB iPhones we bought.

3 The number of 8 GB iPhones we bought.

400 million How many people were in line behind us. Well, not really, but it was a lot.

We also managed to make all the local news stations. Here’s me curled up in my comfy chair, guarding the precious doughnuts with my brother-in-law.

It’s a good thing we did decide to camp out at midnight, because the store sold out of iPhones wihin the hour. We wouldn’t have gotten them otherwise.

This was the first time I’ve ever camped out for a product. Considering how damn tired I am, I’m not sure that I’d ever do it again, either. Well… At least until the next iPhone comes out.

Afishionados,

A delightful reader submission from a friend, Afishionado, and former shipmate onboard CVN-72 USS Abraham Lincoln. ET3 (the fake kind, not the real kind*) (SW) Jones snapped this whilst on liberty in Singapore. Thanks for sharing, and for clearly thinking about me while you were on liberty. Don’t worry, your husband doesn’t need to know about our tantalizing lust for one another.

*Nukes are the only real electronics technicians.

Afishionados,

Lotsa folks out there are big supporters of Barack Obama. They’ve all got their reasons, but I’m here to ask you just one question:

Is another black man in Washington D.C. begging for change really what this country needs?

Do the right thing. Vote Polanski.

Afishionados,

Wash your hands because the claptrap is spreading…

Afishionados,

Things are going better now, though they could still be better. Thanks for your support in my last post, I appreciate it. I wish that I didn’t have to miss Talk Like a Pirate Day because I took a cool photo for it, but I suppose it will just have to wait til next year.

I spotted this today and thought it was shareworthy:

I hope that I have cleared up everyone’s confusion.

Afishionados,

I dunno if I am still gaspin fer my bloggin breff, but SOMEONE’s gotta keep campaigning around here.

Click for full size. Oh, and the inspiration comes from the famous Presidential Candidate himself.

Afishionados,

Today was the best day that I’ve had in a really long time.

I spent the whole day with my sister, her husband, and my mom. We all went shopping at the mall and bought new clothes. I haven’t really bought any new clothes since joining the Navy, so I needed an update. I should look pretty good for school when I start in the fall.

My laptop has always had a black pixel out on the screen, which really has never bothered me too much. Until two days ago, when the little bastard decided to turn BRIGHT FUCKIN’ GREEN ALL THE TIME. It looked like this:

Annoying. Why did that pixel decide to “wake up”? Stay BLACK if you must, but not GREEN! Or red. Or blue. That’s the problem with technology these days: everything uses LCDs so you’re always at risk for having a stuck or dead pixel.

I called my local Apple store and they wouldn’t replace a screen because of one stuck pixel. Lucky me. Fortunately, an independent Apple retailer in my area also fixes Apple computers. And they DID replace the screen for me. They also did it in less than 48 hours, which is faster than ANY turnaround time I have ever experienced directly from Apple. It’s a brand new store and all the folks that work their are friendly. I want to take them all donuts for helping me out.

I’ve been keeping really busy lately, too. Tomorrow it’s off to Cleveland to help sis and husband with unpacking their stuff into their new apartment. As long as there’s beer, we’ll be fine.

I’ve also got something cookin’ in the OFAL Laboratory. I’m working on an Internet project and testing it out with some friends. I’ve put a lot of work into it, and I think it could be really big. The graphics still need some work and it’s not quite ready for prime time. But I can say that it’s powered by WordPress and should have a bigger following than Old Fish and Lemonade. I’m excited. (Not that OFAL is going anywhere, mind you. This project is totally separate.)

Stay tuned!

Afishionados,

The Oscars are this Sunday and my wardrobe has finally arrived in the mail. I can’t wait to meet Keira Knightley on the red carpet wearing this baby. Oooooo she’ll be so impressed.

Many, many, MANY thanks to the peculiar and perplexing Peter Miller. Please go buy his music and artwork so that he can afford to send me more stuff in the future.

READ THESE IN THIS ORDER TO FULLY APPRECIATE THE T-SHIRT JOKE:

1. If You Only See One Film This Summer…

2. Cattle Call

3. If You Only Buy One CD This Summer…

4. Pick a Bale o’ Cotton

5. The Answers [to Pick a Bale o' Cotton]

Wondering what the hell this is all about? It helps to understand that OFAL is really only a third of a much bigger blog. To fully (mis)understand the Fish, one must also regularly read Tetherd Cow Ahead and The Joey Polanski Show. It’s an unholy alliance to be sure but the rooms in the nut house are crowded, and so we have to share.

Afishionados,

Happy Gnu Year! I’m still working 3-section duty and I get to work on Gnu Year’s Day! AWESOME!¹ Hope to see all of you much more often sometime around January 8ish. Until then, please drink as much as you can for me.

¹Not.

Afishionados,

A great day is upon us and should be celebrated accordingly. Some of you may call this day “Thanksgiving” but I prefer to think of it as “Death and Consumption of Evil Birds Day”.

It’s not about being with your friends and family today. It’s about getting even and sending a message to those feathered bastards that poop all across the planet and are always out to kill me.

Remember: If we kill and eat enough of them, they’re gonna catch on. And they’re gonna be scared. And they’ll eventually leave me alone. So help me out by doing your part: Eat as much damn turkey as you can. We can still win this thing.

Happy Death and Consumption of Evil Birds Day to all of you. I’m thankful to have each and every one of you read my blog so I know that I have at least someone to rant to and that I’m not alone. Right? Hello? Guys…?