Afishionados,
I’m well on my way to creating another category here on OFAL. Another photo I spotted while on way to dinner tonight. Something’s amiss, here…
Afishionados,
So I’m watching HOUSE last night and Faux News was kind enough to intrude upon the lower portion of my screen with BREAKING NEWS! I know that Fox Noise is “fair and balanced” and would never1 lie to me or have a bias on one of their stories, but I just can’t figure out how men’s nipples tie in with the Republican agenda that Fox is constantly trying to shove down my throat. Thoughts?
In other news, large traces of dihydrogen monoxide were found in a local woman’s body, doctor’s say.
1Yes, yes they would.
Afishionados,
Whilst in search of bamboo for a 3D project, I happened upon this at a floral outlet store:
Afishionados,
I’ve got a bad cold, and so I decided to make myself some chicken noodle soup. Microwaved from a Campbell’s can, just like mom used to reheat. This part went rather well, actually. I also filled a glass with ice cubes, as a means to chill my delicious Coca-Cola (I’m am addict). This part went okay, too. The problem came when I went for the pour. Because my eyes, with tears flowing like water from Niagara Falls, and my runny nose, with snot running like water from Niagara Falls, I felt my way to the open can of Coke like Ray Charles in a maze (not at Niagara Falls) and went to pour it into my frosty glass. But I missed the glass and poured it directly into my bowl of chicken noodle soup instead. But, I’m so sick, I didn’t even fucking care. I ate the soup anyway. It’s not like I could taste anything anyway.
Afishionados,
Target gift cards specify “Ages 1½+” in the lower right-hand corner. And, honestly, what child wouldn’t want a nice plastic gift card in place of a toy? Remember, your kids are never too young to start being a part of corporate greed!
Afishionados,
Don’t get confused. This ain’t your run-of-the-mill cheap plastic shit. It’s elegant.
Afishionados,
At first, I thought it was kinda like Oprah’s magazine, only Paula Abdul owned it. Oprah always puts herself on the cover in case that one person out there who doesn’t know who she is will then be able to put a name to a face.
Turns out I was wrong. This magazine isn’t just about Paula Abdul. It just happens to feature her on the cover. I’m not sure why exactly, but I like to think that Paula has earned the title of “Modern Dog of the Year”. After all, with so many pointless episodes of American Idol behind her, I’d say she’s earned it.
And thank you so much to all the writers out there who’ve been on strike for about a month now. The world can always use more reality television, right1? I need Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to come back.
1No.
Afishionados,
Borders Books and Music was kind enough to send me an email tonight, informing me of my membership earnings. I don’t know if I want to spend it all on one item or if I want to save some of it for later. I’d hate to just have it go to waste.
Afishionados,
You would think that someone considered to be quite the whore would not wear a costume that correlates with the old adage “Loose lips sink ships.” But, that would involved thinking, so I guess Paris is excused.
Happy Halloween!
Afishionados,
I saw this posted over at the Apple Discussion Forums on Apple.com. And I’m curious.
Because then I saw this:
I mean, shouldn’t he be able to fix his own shit? Any time I ever call for help, he’s the guy who answers.
