John Mc…Kane?
Afishionados,
I saw some footage of John McCain tonight, and I finally realized where I’ve seen him before. Remember Poltergeist II: The Other Side? Remember that evil bastard from the movie who keeps coming after the Freeling family? I did some research on his character* and it turns out the filmmakers based his character off the real-life John McCain. You know, back when McCain was around 6,000 years old so.
Here’s a picture of Kane. See, he even looks exactly like John McCain. Of course, Hollywood had to change the spelling of the character’s name so John wouldn’t sue, but sure as shit it’s him, innit?
Oh, Tangina, where are you when we need you? Lead this fool into the light, already.
*I lied. I made it up on the spot.
June 5th, 2008 at 1:16 am
Happily, Citizen Kane was nevr elecktd president. Or govrnor, fer that mattr.
June 5th, 2008 at 2:12 am
Joey: Tangina threatened to give him the shocker if he did.
June 5th, 2008 at 7:56 am
You sure he wasn’t based on the original Nosferatu?
June 5th, 2008 at 10:34 am
All white haired crackers look alike.
June 5th, 2008 at 4:04 pm
that’s some skary shit. it’s like jesus raped my eyes and then left cancer causing semen in them.
June 5th, 2008 at 9:27 pm
They based Tangina on Hillary.
June 5th, 2008 at 10:39 pm
And to make matters worse, McCain smells like a dead fish.
June 5th, 2008 at 11:08 pm
AngryMan: McCain is MUCH older than Nosferatu. By a million years at least.
C.Rag: See what you have to look forward to with AngryMan?
BWL: I think McCain is scarier than Kane.
anaglyph: Tangina scared me the most of anyone in that movie. I still don’t trust her.
mike: Which is still a better smell than Tangina.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:20 am
I’ll have him killed for insurance money before he gets like that.
June 6th, 2008 at 8:28 pm
I dint know Hillary had a tan gina.
Heck. Maybe she coud pass fer a Barack biotch.
June 8th, 2008 at 7:58 am
True story: I was once in a Mexican restaurant in East LA with some friends and who should walk in but Zelda Rubinstein, who played Tangina. It was a creepy moment.
Later we all confessed that we were suppressing almost irresistible urges to say out loud ‘Go into the light… go into the light…’.
June 9th, 2008 at 11:32 pm
Everyone KNOWS that McCain was built by Disney back in the 40’s. That is why he looks so damn strange, twitches uncontrollably and leaks hydraulic fluid out of his ass.
The hall of Presidents looks more real than he does these days. If only Pixar had built him, but I think they got the contract to create Obama.
TV