IV/29/08
Afishionados,
Unless you’ve been living under a rock, you’ve no doubt heard that Rockstar Games has, at long last, released Grand Theft Auto IV to the masses. The past iterations within the GTA franchise have all been excellent games and early reviews of GTA claim that IV is the best yet. Plus, any game that has the ability to offend as many people as GTA has is worth playing. Be aware that the game is rated M for Mature for a reason. So if you are an overly diehard Christian, ignorant parent, easily offended, or cry yourself to sleep every night, then GTA IV probably isn’t the game for you.
So, for the next few weeks I’ll be stealing cars, shooting people, hooking up with hookers, causing mayhem and destruction, and no doubt a fair bit of vandalizing. Yep, just a regular ol’ week for me. Oh, and I’ll also be playing GTA IV.
April 29th, 2008 at 3:43 pm
Enjoy your made up life. I hope it distracts you from just what a loser you truly are.
April 29th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
I am totally addicted to GTA but my love for the game has not moved much beyond Vice City. San Andreas is pretty good, but my God almighty I could (and have) play GTA Vice City all freaking day long.
Tommy Vercetti rules!!!!
April 29th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
mike: Tommy Vercetti is an innocent man! San Andreas was my least favorite. I didn’t care at all for the main character. Vice City is my fav so far, though what little I have played of GTA IV is a lot better.
April 29th, 2008 at 10:01 pm
I like to shoot things and run them over
April 29th, 2008 at 10:29 pm
Tommy is God. Really. I think San Andreas would have been so much better with Tommy in it. Also, that whole having to go eat food and get healthy bullshit took a lot away from the game for me. I want to kill people, rob people, steal motorcycles and shoot cops for no fucking reason whatsoever. Is that so wrong?
April 29th, 2008 at 11:56 pm
mike: So far GTA IV has lived up to the hype. I like the character you play (a Russian immigrant with his heart set on building a better life in America). Ironically, you don’t start out as a thug, but your loser cousin kinda forces you to help rescue him and you find yourself in the familiar mob scene. The character movements and animations are top notch, and the voice acting is superb. The graphics are greatly improved, and even simple things like driving is more fun and funnier. For example, you now have high beam headlights so you can actually see where you are going. And if you slam headfirst into a pole or wall, you will go flying right out the front window with a really great scream. Thought I haven’t tried it yet, there is a multiplayer option for GTA IV available as well. 16 player modes and a 2-4 person campaign co-op. How awesome would that be? Mike, you gotta get a 360 so we can rape hookers together.
April 30th, 2008 at 7:47 am
I told my wife I needed the x-box last night and she pitched an unholy fit about video games.
Her bitching about it just sealed the deal for me. I am getting it with my next bonus check. (Yes, not only do I get paid for doing nothing, but I get quarterly bonuses too).
The preceding was a free tip on how to have a happy and healthy relationship. For additional tips, please send a SASE and 200 dollars to MIKE C/O Shangrila.
April 30th, 2008 at 11:45 am
Welcome back you worthless fuck.
GTA is f’in awesome. I probably won’t get the new one because I am more into killing zombies right now.
TV
April 30th, 2008 at 12:18 pm
I have a place in Columbus but i don’t have your email address…care to help a brother out.
the best part about the game is going through the wind-shield when you crash.
April 30th, 2008 at 1:07 pm
Killing hookers rocks!