My Proposal
Afishionados,
What this world needs (and by world I mean Australia and the United States) is a plan that allows citizens of one country (and by citizens I mean me and only me) to exchange citizenship with citizens of another. A one-for-one kinda deal.
There’s gotta be someone dumb crazy enough to want to leave Australia and move here, right? Plus, I can really help out some of Australia’s citizens.
Look at this woman, for example. She’s posted to the Singles ads because there aren’t enough nice guys in Australia for her to date. Since the US and A seems all about being the world police, I feel it’s my duty to help out this damsel in distress.
She needs a boyfriend and who am I to say no? I am now accepting donations to help the fundraising necessary to complete my plan. I accept all major credit cards, PayPal, Checks, Money Order, and anything I can sell for cash, including but not limited to: your first born child, addictive drugs and medication, and novelty Star Wars toys from the 70s.
Maybe I should get Angela Lansbury to do my commercials, too. You know, have her look all mopey and depressed, walk around crowds of Australian women, and have her say lines like, “For just 10 cents a day, you can make these hot Australian women’s dreams come true.” I think it could work.
Remember, it’s not about helping me, it’s about helping others. So please help by donating today!
November 8th, 2007 at 6:33 pm
None of your dreams will come true if you don’t have a PASSPORT. Get on then i will donate to your fund.
November 8th, 2007 at 6:35 pm
Damn, I’d have been first in line to donate to such a worthy cause, but I just sent all my money to Rael, the French guy who encourages his
cult membersloyal followers to have rampant sex with each other.Otherwise I’d be right there for you!
November 8th, 2007 at 7:18 pm
I won’t donate to your fund until you donate to my fund “Fuck Hot American Chicks Named Preposterous”!
November 8th, 2007 at 8:00 pm
Well … SOME o us post ads in “dating” publickations cause weere dangd tired o bangin hotties.
Just ONCE in my life I’d like to bang a ugly chick!
November 8th, 2007 at 8:55 pm
Col: Traitor.
PrePo: Well, as soon as I find one that’s actually hot I’ll let you know
Joey: Talk to PrePo. HAHAHA.
November 9th, 2007 at 12:21 am
I didn’t realize how giving you were. What a nice fellow. I’ll be sending a check with lots of zeros on the end but don’t cash it. Isn’t it the thought that counts?
Hey, you criticize the testicle that separates my posts? What the hell is that thing between yours?
November 9th, 2007 at 1:26 am
Do you accept American money? Or do you want the more valuable Canadian currency?
November 9th, 2007 at 8:26 am
I think it would be easier and cheaper to annex Australia and just move it closer to the us. We could just hook up a bunch of tug boats to it and drag it over here and shove it up against California.
I suppose then we’d have to put up with you begging for money to go to California.
November 9th, 2007 at 8:43 am
Sorry, I only donate to worthy causes.
November 9th, 2007 at 9:17 am
AngryMan will donate his sperm.
Just make sure she’s not crazy. Crazy in bed is good. Crazy going to kill you is bad.
November 9th, 2007 at 9:28 am
Chickie: Oh, I’m very giving. I’m a big supporter of helping out hot Australians.
Anonymous: Canadian money is find, even if it’s made anonymously but conveniently links back to Sirdar’s web site.
mike: I’d prefer to keep Australia as far away from Canada as possible. I don’t want Ahnold thinking it’s Austria.
AngryMan: hahahaha. Fuckin’ prick.
C.Rag: If she’s crazy in bed and then kills me, I suppose I’ll at least die happy.
November 10th, 2007 at 9:50 am
Do Australian chicks like sci-fi?