My Baseball Team Will Kick Your Ass
Afishionados,
There are many of you out there bitching about the Cleveland Indians mascot being racist. I’ve even gotten comments about it here on my own blog, but I’ve deleted them and decided to do this post because:
1. The Cleveland Indians are awesome, even if they did lose to the Boston Red Sox. I don’t give a shit what you say.
2. For some of you, your fucking team is goddamn laundry.
3. You are retarded.
Therefore, I’ve made my own goddamn team. Since several of you have bitched, moaned, whined, and cried that there’s an abundance of professional sports teams that are “racist”, I’ve decided to pick on Whitey. That’s right, the crackers are gettin’ their own racist team. Suck it up.
The new team is the Honkies. And we bring our own bats. Don’t come crying to us about racist sports teams, because we’ll just smack you upside your ignorant head. We haven’t settled on a city yet, but are open to suggestions.
There are much bigger and much more important problems in the world than “racist” sports teams, so please do the world a favor and just shut the fuck up.
UPDATE: Due to a request from a faithful Honkies fan, I’ve made a small button you can proudly display on your own blog or website to show your team spirit. It’s a transparent .PNG file, so it should look okay on your web site no matter what color your background is. Enjoy, and Go Honkies!
October 26th, 2007 at 5:58 am
I agree with you. We allow the Fightin’ Irish guy who is also a racist symbol. The NCAA takes away Feathers from the College of William & Mary, but keep the Seminoles.
I think Compton would be a good city.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:41 am
I like the sound of the Houston Honkies.
October 26th, 2007 at 6:58 am
CockMaster suggests, the Newark Honkies.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:19 am
So are their rivals the Hampton Crackers or the New Orleans Porch…?
October 26th, 2007 at 7:45 am
East St. Louis, brother!
October 26th, 2007 at 8:16 am
Yeah, St. Louis was my first choice. Hoboken sounds good. Nobody from Boston can say anything as long as the Celts have our merry little leprechaun. New team logos suck anyway- wtf is that thing on the Pats helmets, anyway? Chief Wahoo is a merry old soul- I’ll bet he and our leprechaun shut down the bar whenever they get together.
October 26th, 2007 at 8:45 am
Some people just need to get over themselves…including people who rant about racism yet think nothing of referring to themselves using a derogatory term for mountain people. More often than not, supposed racism comes down to hypocrisy on a grand scale.
October 26th, 2007 at 9:57 am
See, I wag to make the Alambama Blackies and use little Sambo as their symbol . .
October 26th, 2007 at 9:57 am
See, I was going to make the Alambama Blackies and use little Sambo as their symbol . .
October 26th, 2007 at 10:40 am
Mike,
I said the same thing about “getting over ourselves” & the derogatory term for mountain people guy was quite upset with me for saying that.
October 26th, 2007 at 11:26 am
Opinionated are we?
Why not simply name the team Hilliard Honkies.
Their motto: Suck it up or Shut the fuck up. (As you so stated)
October 26th, 2007 at 2:08 pm
All of you will die in the race war!
i hate ritz crackers!
October 26th, 2007 at 4:06 pm
i like that team. i like it a lot. without the darkies on there, it might not be as athletically great, but the locker rooms would smell better and not have chicken bones and grape soda cans all over the showers.
i think you should tie two baseball bats together, and burn it on Ortiz’s front lawn.
October 26th, 2007 at 4:40 pm
C.Rag: Of course you agree with me. Everyone should.
Sara Sue: Texas? Are you kidding me??? Never gonna happen.
AngryMan: St. Louis Honkies is now the leading contender. I like the stats. Good suggestion.
ColCol: Are you saying Indians drink too much, too?
Mike: There are hillbillies in the mountains???
Malach: I wouldn’t be bothered in the least. A person can’t bitch about wanting equal rights if they’ve formed their own little group called the NAACP, which just further divides and separates them from “everyone else”. If you’re so equal, why do you have your own organization?
C. Rag: Yea I saw.
PrePo: Just spreading the Good Word.
October 26th, 2007 at 7:02 pm
‘Honkies’ souns so much like ‘Yankees’ that they GOTSTA be from New York.
Therefore …
Th Hymietown Honkies seems just about rightski!