Afishionados,

Nobody loves him and he has no friends. But at least he has a video on YouTube.

Afishionados,

I had to write an article for one of my classes about some element of design. I chose a really interesting article from WIRED magazine that discusses a psychological study on beta testers that played Halo 3 prior to its public release. Bungie Studios hired a psychologist to monitor where people were dying, how they liked the levels, monitored their ammo, etc. to work out bugs and kinks prior to the final release of the game (It’s an interesting article, so you should go read it).

We had to explain to the class the topic of our article and why we chose it. The WIRED article does not mention anything about video game violence and its impact on people, it just discusses the psychological method behind Halo 3’s BETA testing. I made this quite clear during my presentation, but, as with any class, a moron raised their hand.

“Uh, yes, does the article go into any detail about how video game violence affects children?”

It was some annoying, middle-aged woman and apparently a mother of two teenagers. I think she said her kids were 15 and 17 or something but who the hell cares. And I let her in on a little secret: Games come with content labels! If you don’t like the content, then don’t buy the damn game.

Does video game violence cause real life violence? I don’t believe so. I think it’s got more to do with shitty parenting. I mean, I played DOOM, Quake, Half Life, BioShock, etc. and I’ve not killed anyone yet. Does asking a stupid question in class after making my point abundantly clear cause violence? Someone hand me my BFG 9000…

Afishionados,

I’m taking a class on Adobe Illustrator and today we had to create a project that essentially involved “cutting out objects” within basic shapes. Eventually, we’ll be doing a complete paneled piece, and today’s goal was to create something that you could use for your final work.

My selected theme is the Iraqi war because it’s controversial and everyone else is doing music, movies, nature, or something stupid and I wanted to be different. I’m pretty sure that the teacher is a fan of ol’ Dubya, too, which makes it even better.

Here’s what I came up with this afternoon. I like it and I think it came out pretty well. Sorry for the watermark, but I don’t want people stealing it and using it on their web sites or something without my permission. I think I’ll even be able to use parts of this in the final panel piece towards the end of the quarter.

Afishionados,

Halo 3 launched today, so if you have an Xbox 360 you should go buy it and play it. And if you don’t have a 360 yet, well, now you have an excuse to go buy one. Halo 3 is the final chapter in the series (at least until they decide to make another sequel because the game sells like loincloths to AngryMan).

The story is about some fucking weird illegal aliens that hate Earth and who are on some fucked up religious “journey”. Their gods have “spoken to them” and the only way to make sure they get to a better and happier place is by wiping out the human race. The alien forces are divided into sects, clans, tribes, cliques… whatever you want to call them. Oh, and did I mention that there’s an internal power struggle amongst the aliens as to which sect should be in charge and who should be in control? Rest assured, however, that even though the aliens quibble amongst themselves, ALL of them still hate us.

Damn, I better stop typing because I am really starting to scare myself. Good thing it’s just a game and nothing similar to this happens in real life.

Afishionados,

Things are going better now, though they could still be better. Thanks for your support in my last post, I appreciate it. I wish that I didn’t have to miss Talk Like a Pirate Day because I took a cool photo for it, but I suppose it will just have to wait til next year.

I spotted this today and thought it was shareworthy:

I hope that I have cleared up everyone’s confusion.

I’ve heard of the rhythm method, but I’m not sure how this one works. Maybe this is what she used? Maybe my research team can help shed some light on the matter.

Afishionados,

I was out shopping with a friend of mine when she spotted this on the shelf of a local retail store. Hideous, I know. And scary. I didn’t even know they made NASCAR propaganda for rednecks this young.

Afishionados,

It seems my cheapo printer has decided to terminate our relationship. It dumped me tonight, and I am a little sad inside. I was trying to print some stuff from Illustrator this evening and she decided to freeze up on me and throw a tantrum. I pushed her buttons, I admit, but she still wouldn’t help me out. Instead, she tossed me to the curb.

The reason, she says, is because I have an unsupported personality. She wouldn’t print my project out. No, sir. Instead I got this goodbye letter. I took a photo so you could see it. That just hurts. Hurts like a deep paper cut right through my heart.

Afishionados,

Don’t be fooled by the photo above. It’s not really AngryMan’s offspring, so don’t worry.

Have you ever seen the movie Critters? I think it’s the reason that I am so fucked up today.

Critters is like Gremlins, except that it’s less comedy and way less cool. The lack of plot involves evil space alien “hedgehogs” called Krites that come to Earth and eat people on a hillbilly family’s farm. Two bounty hunters (also from space) come to Earth to help save the planet. It’s got to be one of the worst movies ever made.

My parents let me watch Critters when I was 5 or 6 years old. There are really only two scenes that stick out in my mind but they’ve forever fucked me up psychologically.

The hillbilly family’s son (He’s like 12 years old or something) rides his bike through the field at night to try and get help from a neighbor or something because his dad is hurt by the Krites. The Krites, of course, are also in the field and bite his pant legs and bike tires. As a kid, I always thought of this when I rode my bike at night, and to this day I still refuse to drive my car through cornfields.

Another scene has the Krites inside the hillbilly house and they’re chewing E.T.’s head off. A pleather doll of E.T., anyway. And they tear that fucker to pieces. Perhaps it would have been better if they had instead chewed off Drew Barrymore’s head, sparing us countless films with her terrible acting.

Critters spawned three sequels, but Critters 5 was unfortunately canceled. The sequels, while naturally worse than even the horrid first film in the series, were not a complete loss.

Critters 2, for example, did have two excellent points.

Afishionados,

Day one of school for me. Remember this guy? He taught my first class of the day. He spent an hour and a half rehashing his “sign the clipboard” attendance policy and going over the departmental policies on attendance and grading.

Notice I said “departmental”. He even talked about rules, regulations, policies, and stipulations that didn’t apply to his course. For an hour and a half. For example: His class meets twice a week. He discussed (quite thoroughly, I assure you) the attendance policies for classes that meet only once a week as well. And at night. And on weekends.

Then, as I felt my brain melt and drip out of my ear to my chin, he discussed, at length, every full time staff member’s departmental job, where they came from, what they do, what color underwear they had on, and what they had for breakfast.

Okay, maybe I made those last few up, but I’m willing to bet he knew the answers anyway.