Afishionados,

Good news for the War on Feather. Herbie and I have been road trippin’ for the past couple days, driving from Seattle to Ohio. Armed with bottled water and the radio, we made our way east posthaste. (Also, as it turns out, Volkswagen New Beetles, when released back into the open wild, are capable of speeds of 113 MPH through Utah.)

As loyal readers of Old Fish and Lemonade know, all birds are out to kill me. Which is why I am happy to report that, while traveling through Nebraska, Iowa, or some other pointless plains state (I can’t remember), Herbie was attacked by a bird. And won.

While cruising at a comfortable 85 MPH, a small, gray bird flew in front of the car, and LANDED on the road, DIRECTLY in line with the front passenger tire. (Ironically, this is the same tire that killed the raccoon.) Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that:

1.) I hate birds

and

2.) It’s impossible to stop immediately from speeds in excess of 5 MPH

So, as you can imagine, the bird lost. After a rather delightful sounding “THWAP”, I looked in the rearview mirror and looked upon a cloud of feathers. It looked like someone had thrown a pillow into a fan. Awesome. One less of their minions to shit on my car. Justice!

This entry was posted on Saturday, June 23rd, 2007 at 3:53 pm and is filed under Awesome, Birds, Cars, Death, Evil. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.