Afishionados,

Turns out that the drop down menu code I used on my site ended up being more of a pain in the ass than it was worth. I think it looked cleaner than a generic list, but I kept getting HTML errors whenever I tried to change ANYTHING within it. So, at least for now, it’s back to the basics. I need your input and opinions, please.

While checking out blogs, do you prefer the plain ol’ list ‘o shit type of blogroll or do you like things cleaner and fancier? I’ve always felt that long lists of links look bad, but they’re more practical than what I was using before. What have you found that works best for you guys?

Also, I had some weird stuff happen to some files on my server with regard to Old Fish and Lemonade’s template settings. If you notice anything out of the ordinary (well, template-wise, anyway) please post it here and I will attempt to fix it. (Please note, this also includes links to blogs. If I previously linked to you and suddenly do not, let me know.)

Thanks!

Afishionados,

I don’t know what’s happening with me today, but I have been awake and sick since 6:00 A.M. with dry heaves and other fun, bodily mishaps. I feel okay other than the hurling from one end and, well… some other nasty feature at the other.

I’m so thirsty that I think I’d even drink water from the pool at this point, but I can’t keep anything down. Water, 7-Up, oatmeal… Nothin’. It all comes back to visit me again (and again, and again).

It even takes all my energy to type this out. Wish I could keep something down, I would LOVE an iced tea. Hopefully that presidential nominee Polanski’s health care plan will help me in the future.

Time for another nap,

JediMacFan

Afishionados,

Good news for the War on Feather. Herbie and I have been road trippin’ for the past couple days, driving from Seattle to Ohio. Armed with bottled water and the radio, we made our way east posthaste. (Also, as it turns out, Volkswagen New Beetles, when released back into the open wild, are capable of speeds of 113 MPH through Utah.)

As loyal readers of Old Fish and Lemonade know, all birds are out to kill me. Which is why I am happy to report that, while traveling through Nebraska, Iowa, or some other pointless plains state (I can’t remember), Herbie was attacked by a bird. And won.

While cruising at a comfortable 85 MPH, a small, gray bird flew in front of the car, and LANDED on the road, DIRECTLY in line with the front passenger tire. (Ironically, this is the same tire that killed the raccoon.) Well, it doesn’t take a genius to figure out that:

1.) I hate birds

and

2.) It’s impossible to stop immediately from speeds in excess of 5 MPH

So, as you can imagine, the bird lost. After a rather delightful sounding “THWAP”, I looked in the rearview mirror and looked upon a cloud of feathers. It looked like someone had thrown a pillow into a fan. Awesome. One less of their minions to shit on my car. Justice!

Afishionados,

Maya (pictured above) left a very nice, well thought out, and grammatically correct post on Barbaro Dies, People Cry, Elmer Rejoices.

i amsolutely think it is not a god damn horse and it deserves at the very least 10 minutes of our time. But i am glad to hear that there was a fund raiser set up for it. I just saw a website of horse staughter. The hatred that filled in my heart because of those stupid people is sad and people like me horses are our life and they do not deserve to be killed intentionaly and we have no buiseness eating them. please write back

I’m not exactly sure what her intention was in writing me. After reading the letter, perhaps it’s to prove a point: that Barbaro could type, spell, and email better than her? And who said anything about “we” and “eating them [horses]“? Have some of you guys been eating horses behind my back? And if you are, how the hell did Maya find out? And why aren’t you sharing? Pass the sauce!

Thanks for the letter, Maya. You’ve given me a great idea for a future post involving Barbaro. Stay tuned…

Image courtesy of the infamous Ebaumsworld.

Afishionados,

Good news for you Windows folks out there who read the Fish on a regular basis. Apple’s awesome Internet browser, Safari, is now available as a free download for Microsoft Windows!

Other than the fact that the Fish looks best in Safari, you’ll also get better bookmarking, RSS, and tabbed browsing that doesn’t suck. Oh, and the fastest HTML rendering available for your operating system. So don’t wait any longer, download Safari today!

Afishionados,

I was perusing pages of my friends on MySpace when I couldn’t help but notice a comment post. It wasn’t the post itself that caught my attention, it was the photo of the person posting. I have no idea who she is, but I found out where she came from.

Sloth from Goonies and Kristin Davis from Sex and the City. What do you guys think?

Afishionados,

My Barbaro post continues to garner attention. Today, pictured above, Dagjjkscoot (Ironically, the name literally translates to “One Who Has Sex With Horses” in Swahili) took the time to write me (as well as many of OFAL’s long and trusted loyal readers) one of the sweetest letters that the Fish has ever received. He’s also kindly volunteered his email address for all my future SPAM requests.

Horsehumper Dagjjkscoot writes:

Hey assholes! Barbaro wasn’t just a horse you fuckin fuckers! Go fuck yourself! If you hate horses then just don’t bother with them! And Barbaro was not made into glue you fuckin assholes! So that’s what I have to say! I loved Barbaro very much! And if any of you have a problem with that contact me at dagjjkscoot@comcast.net! Bye-Bye!

When Dagjjkscoot says he “loved Barbaro very much”, I imagine he means something like this (NSFW). But do I really “have a problem with that”? No, Dagjjkscoot, I don’t have a problem with you having sex with horses. But keep in mind that Barbaro is still dead and sex with dead horses is necrophelia and beastiality. And that’s just weird.

Please, folks, if you have a PlayStation 3 offer you want to sign up for, a credit application at a sporting event to get a free t-shirt, or religious paraphernalia you want sent out, please don’t forget my new friend Dagjjkscoot. I know I won’t.

dagjjkscoot@comcast.net

Dagjjkscoot’s photo courtesy of www.have-you-seen-this-man.com