Taco Bell: The Same Shit Every Time!
Afishionados,
Taco Bell, the U.S. “restaurant” chain famous for serving the same exact ingredients over and over in various shapes and sizes in attempt to stay creative in today’s competitive fast food market, has released yet another one of its “creations”. Don’t worry. As always, there is absolutely nothing new here and will therefore still taste like licking your cat’s asshole. It just looks different.
I keep seeing commercials on television for Taco Bell’s new Cheesy Gordita Crunch. I can’t escape the ads, no matter how hard I try. For some reason, Taco Bell thinks they’ve got a new winner on their hands with this one. Let’s take a closer look at what’s inside, shall we?
2.) Lettuce? Check.
3.) Crunchy Taco Shell and/or Soft Taco Shell? Check. Check.
4.) Chihuahua Semen Sour Cream? Check.
5.) Give-You-The-ShitsTM Cheese? Check.
Yep, everything checks out and it’s nothing we haven’t seen before. It’s still just a goddamn taco like they’ve been making for years except they’ve glued it into some pita bread with some cheese. So of course people who eat Taco Bell will like this because it’s the exact same thing they’re used to eating anyway! How can they not enjoy it?
Taco Bell is retarded. They use the same nasty shit to make their “food” and then try to push it off as something I haven’t seen before. Who does Taco Bell think they are? If I want to hear the same bullshit spun around a million different ways, I’ve already got the Bush Administration. Why do I need a lousy taco joint, too? If McDonald’s decided to serve a special hamburger upside down, nobody would fall for it. Nobody. But Taco Bell can rearrange the same handful of ingredients and people are all over it.
I just don’t get it.
October 19th, 2006 at 7:26 pm
Holy fucking shit! They use chihuahua meat? Tiny dog is going to be so pissed at me when she finds out. I sometimes let her lick the grease from the wrappers. Didn’t know I was encouraging cannibalism.
I thought cat’s ass would taste like pennies. Thanks for the enlightenment.
October 19th, 2006 at 9:39 pm
I’m leaving the licking of my cat’s asshole to my cat. Thanks for the gross mental image, I owe you.
October 19th, 2006 at 9:59 pm
chihuahua meat, i believe it is refered to as mystery meat. I only know one person who would love this new creation and that person is a thousand miles away in the middle east. This sucks worse than a $20 whore in Las Vegas.
October 19th, 2006 at 11:04 pm
Well, I dont wanna blab, but Taco Bell is about t intrduce sompm realy diffrent.
Gummi enchiladas.
October 20th, 2006 at 2:57 pm
Chickie: You can feed your dogs taco bell, just give them some fava beans and some chianti to go with it.
Anaglyph: Would you rather Glitch licked yours?
BEAD: What’s your experience with $20 whores in Vegas? Are you claiming to be a connoisseur?
Joey: Do they serve those on campus?
October 20th, 2006 at 4:23 pm
Whoa!!!! Someone’s got their panties in a wad! Come on, like the old saying goes, “if it ain’t broke, why fix it?” Obviously the people who eat at taco bell are content with the same old thing and the new advertisement is simply to keep the marketing employees busy to excuse the fact they are still on payroll…
October 20th, 2006 at 11:41 pm
Well if you would like a true commercial from Taco Bell it would be something like: “Can’t get the shit out? Struggeling at the toilet every day? Come to Taco Bell! We give you the shits1!”
I’m not sure if that would be a better ad to see over and over.
1Consult your local doctor if you are pregnant or have other diseases.
October 21st, 2006 at 12:51 pm
mmmmmmmm…makes me want Fudgem’s for dessert.
October 23rd, 2006 at 3:51 pm
A half pound of food = $1.29
And so Taco Bell fucks on forever
October 23rd, 2006 at 4:51 pm
I know I must be really, *really* hungry, because this still didn’t spoil my appetite.
December 13th, 2006 at 2:29 pm
I just have to say coming from south texas… MEXICAN FOOD HAS ALWAYS BEEN THE SAME SHIT OVER AND OVER AND OVER IN DIFFERENT FORMS!!!