Myspaced Out
Afishionados,
Though I hate to admit, I’ve been perusing Myspace.com tonight. I looked up people in my old hometown by using my old high school as a search term. I think I’ve seen more than I care to, and I’ve learned a few things along the way:
1. No matter how ugly, stupid, or how long your criminal record must be by now, people will still have sex with you and produce offspring.
2. Some people that were relatively normal looking in high school have put on at least 100 pounds.
3. Some people that were never attractive in my class suddenly got really, really hot.
4. Some of the girls in my younger brothers’ classes also got very, very hot.
5. I’m behind the times when it comes to kids. Everyone seems to have them except me.
6. Folks that always said “I’ll never stay in this crummy town” did just that.
7. Some people never change.
8. Some people do change, and not always for the better.
9. I couldn’t find the people I’d most like to talk to again anywhere on Myspace.
10. I have the coolest looking, least annoying Myspace page of anyone from my old high school.
September 24th, 2006 at 4:03 am
All the girls from my old high school are now highly paid models or tv hosts. Sometimes it doesn’t pay to be the nerd
The random quote I just got - “Abandon Hope All Ye Who Enter Here” was actually a sign on the porch of my old house. One of my housemates burned it into some old boards with a torch lighter and then added his own blood. I’m not kidding. I’ve lived with some pretty strange people. Last time I spoke to one of my old roommates, the sign was still there…
September 24th, 2006 at 8:23 am
Geez! On th matter o kids, theres a lot yer doin wrong, ol boy!
I mean, fer one thing, you OVIOUSLY chasd th wrong woman!
Dont th Navy teach yous guys t chase aftr th chick whos already got a kid of mysterios fatherage?
Oh, go ahead! Shattr my whole Popeye dlusion!
September 24th, 2006 at 8:41 pm
Bean: Have you considered being a model for nerds? Maybe you could do one of those shows on G4. I bet more people would watch than you think.
Joey: I should’ve chased this one.
September 25th, 2006 at 7:28 am
Given #10, you probably don’t qualify as a MySpace Cadet. This of course is a plus. Generally.
September 29th, 2006 at 12:20 pm
HEY!!! what do you mean you couldn’t find the people that you most wanted to talk to? what am I? chopped liver? lmao. Oh, and I know I got hot. you don’t have to tell me. ha ha, just kiddin.