Afishionados,

When last I wrote about working for muppets, I failed to mention that there are actually two people [that like to believe that they are] in charge of me. Like Ernie, Bert also lacks a penis and is incapable of thinking for himself.

Bert and Ernie can’t do anything [correctly] without attempting to decipher hidden clues buried deep within the contents of Ernie’s clipboard. I watched them stare at it for over 40 minutes today, trying to figure out what to “do”. I’m pretty sure that the clipboard contains the answers to all life’s most important questions, such as “Who really killed Jean Benet Ramsey?”, “Where is Jimmy Hoffa buried?”, and “Where are the weapons of mass destruction hidden?”. I guarantee you that if you stare that clipboard long enough, the answers will present themselves.

Today was Sunday, which means all the officers and “important” people are at home and aren’t around to watch Bert and Ernie’s every move (Not that they really do anything anyway). Fire watches have to be scheduled 24 hours in advance, so there should be no secrets that come up from the shipyard workers when they want to weld something.

In my eyes, this means I should be able to “disappear” (i.e. take the 9:30 bus back home). After all, if there’s no work to be done, what’s the point in staying? Bert and Ernie disagree with me on this and instead force me to literally do nothing but sit and “guard” our beloved plywood cubicle of love in the hangar bay.

The level of stupidity in the Navy is really wearing on me, and I still have a long way to go. People are such assholes, especially when it comes to pointless shit. I’m pretty sure that I’m going to crack and bitch slap someone at some point.  Something has got to change, or I’m going to shoot myself in the face. Twice.

This entry was posted on Sunday, September 17th, 2006 at 7:00 pm and is filed under Bullshit, Help!, Navy, Your Tax Dollars. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.