I went to Home Depot today and tried to park my car. There weren’t any spots available that were even remotely close to the entrance, so I had to park in Oregon and walk.

What seemed like three weeks later, while walking towards the building, I passed no less than thirteen handicapped parking spaces. Thirteen! I’ve got no real issue with disabled folks (except that they get all the good parking spots), but do they really need thirteen spots? I’ve never been anywhere where thirteen vans pulled up and thirteen wheelchairs got out and went shopping at one time. (Not even at Wal-Mart). Are they going to hold a rally or something?

For the record, traffic through Home Depot was insane.  But only three of the thirteen spaces were being used.

Computers are getting faster and more powerful every day. Because of this, it’s getting easier for game designers to create more realistic looking human characters in their games. Since the characters in today’s games are becoming increasingly complex, they’re looking less like models and more like…models.

But the world wasn’t always full of these cyber-hotties. Back in the old days, people used to lust for puppets. Of course, it didn’t take long for folks to realize that sex with puppets would only leave you in a knotted entangled mess, so they switched to cartoon characters instead.

Enter the 21st century and Alyx Vance. Alyx is a twenties-something heroine in the famous Half Life game series. And she’s hot, too! Just look at her! She’s got it all: a great body, great hair, beautiful face, and a gun! She’s a great reason to turn up the ol’ anti-aliasing on the monitor (help round out those curves). Best of all, since she’s just a digital character she’ll never grow old and fat!

It just so happens that Alyx Vance also has a very lovely, highly textured ass. Here, see for yourself.

I don’t want to single anybody out, but I used to think that people who lusted over fictional characters were a little weird. But it’s hard to argue when Alyx adorns a 21″ screen. If only the holodeck were invented by now. Picard and his crew were able to touch their holo-buddies, right?

The good Reverend over at the Tetherd Cow has gone on vacation. Click for a larger version of the picture.

UPDATED AUGUST 29, 2006:

In response to Mr. Polanksi’s comments to Anne Arkham. Click to open full size version.

I apologize for the poor quality photo, but I didn’t realize it came out blurry when I took it. Another amazing observation/discovery at Wal-Mart. It seems I see enough weird things at Wal-Mart to give it it’s own category.

Anyway, the Superman logo is what caught my attention. What is it about Rice-a-roni that it warrants an endorsement from the Man of Steel? I can tell you that if I was Superman, I sure as hell wouldn’t eat Rice-a-roni. I mean, come on! The guy can shoot fire from his eyes! Why not fly to Kansas and burn a cow or something? The guy can move faster than a train, and all he has time for is fucking Rice-a-roni?

I spent a couple days this week with my stepsister and her 3 year old son and her new baby girl. I had a good time, but I noticed a few things that seem unfair as an adult but are great when you are a kid.

For example: Bella is just two weeks old. When she’s done feeding, someone pats her on the back until she burps. And when she does burp, everyone cheers her on saying she’s a “big girl” or that she’s done a “good job”. Even if she burps in public, she gets complimented.

When I burp in public, it goes unappreciated. And not only can I burp, but I can do it without anyone patting me on the back to help. That’s right, I can do it all by myself. Yet no one cheers. How sad this make me feel.

Austin (the three year old) is going through “potty training”. He’s got his own little kiddy-shitter and everything. It’s more high tech than a real toilet, too. It has a light and a piss-shield to prevent unwanted urinary casualties.

Anyway, once he’s done, Austin likes to exlaim that he’s “gone to the potty!”. When he successfully goes to the potty, he also gets candy as a reward to encourage good behaviour. Well whoopty doo! And I don’t even need a piss shield. When I announced that I, too, had gone to the potty all by myself, no one seemed to care. Instead of cheering and congratulating, there was much protesting over a theoretical stench emanating from the bathroom. It seems rather unfair to criticize me when the wee child smells up the bathroom just as badly. And no one gives me candy, either.

I don’t know when the things you do as a kid become unacceptable as an adult. But I came into this world naked, and I plan to leave it the same way. Mark my words…

If you could travel through time and visit any era when would you go and why?