By now, everyone should know that I hate my neighbor’s dog. Don’t tell anyone, but I’ve completed my one and only good deed for the year because of it.

I can’t really blame the dog for its stupidity. I hold the owners responsible because the dog is, well… just a dog. And I think I’ve discovered the reason for it’s constant barking.

The problem is with the neighbors and their apparent inbred upbringing. I don’t normally condone sleeping with your own sister (unless you’re local), but these people didn’t ask me before they got married.

The military houses down here all have screened in back patios. This is where the hillbillies normally keep their pooch. Yesterday was a different story, however.

The weather yesterday was beautiful. It was sunny and the temperature was around 90F. A perfect day to spend 20 minutes or so outside then return to the confines and comforts of the indoors with free government-paid air conditioning. Unless, that is, you happen to be a dog that belong to inbred hillbillies.

The neighbors tied their dog out to the yard with one of those big corkscrew lookin’ things. The movers spent all day packing up my stuff so I spent some of my morning outside. And that’s when I noticed that the neighbors’ car wasn’t in the driveway. No one was home, and they had left their poor pooch outside with no food and no water! (On the plus side, it was quiet for once.)

I wanted to give the dog some water, but all my stuff was already boxed. No bowls, no cups, and no dog bowl around the neighbor’s house in sight. I had to go into MacGyver mode. The only thing I had in my possession was an empty plastic jug leftover from the tea I had bought for the movers and my handy-dandy ceramic Boker pocketknife. A little cutting and walla: instant doggy water bowl!

I always carry my cell phone on me, so I was able to capture what I believe is the reason the dog barks when it’s “caged” in the patio but is silent when outdoors. The quality is bad because it’s a camera phone and the photo was taken through a screen.

The entire back patio is covered with dog shit. It’s everywhere and my camera couldn’t capture it all. I’d bark nonstop, too, if I had to live like this. I can’t get away from this state soon enough…

This entry was posted on Thursday, May 4th, 2006 at 3:37 pm and is filed under Nasty, Observations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.