I missed my round eyeglasses so I bought a second pair this afternoon. A spectacle-tacular day, if you will.

I bought the glasses at the local mall. I knew that Lens Crafters was inside the mall, and that’s about it. So, naturally, I ended up parking in the lot farthest from the store I wanted to be. This always happens to me.

While trekking through one of the department stores on my way to LC, I overheard an advertisement for “Not Your Daughter’s Tummy Tuck Jeans“. As with anything stupid that is played loudly within my general presence, I paused and listened more closely.

A woman came over a loudspeaker and proceeded to tell me how great Not Your Daughter’s Jeans (NYDJs) are and how they had a special feature that could help hide and tuck away my unwanted chub. I could wear at least one size smaller with these jeans. I found the entire experience rather peculiar. If I were wearing NYDJs, I think my lack of visible tummy would be the last thing people would notice.

“Fuck, dude, why are you wearing women’s jeans?”

“Man, listen. They might be women’s jeans, but they’re Not Your Daughter’s Jeans.”

“Motherfucker, they had better not be my daughter’s jeans. If they were, I’d kick your ass.”

“No, dude, you just don’t get it. These babies help me tuck my tummy, man. Can’t you see that?”

“All I see is your ass in chick pants.”

“You’re missing the point. See how they don’t make my ass look big?”

This entry was posted on Monday, March 27th, 2006 at 9:00 pm and is filed under Observations. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.