Suspect Fowl Play
I saw this article in the Sydney Morning Herald today. A chicken shop sufferd from a “mysterious fire” and police are “treating the fire as suspicious”.
This incident made me ponder two things, specifically. First, if the fire was an act of vandalism (or perhaps, in this day and age, an act of terrorism), what’s the message here? A Holy War against…birds? And why chickens? Chickens aren’t the most dangerous birds known to mankind.
Secondly, why is this story featured on the front page of the newspaper’s web site? Surely there are more important things going on in the world than this?
But the Fish is here to examine the clues and aid the Sydney police in this matter. I know who’s behind it and I’ve got the facts to prove my case. “A Sydney chicken fire lit” is nothing more than an anagram for “Cheney’s a tricky infidel”. Yes, that’s right, Dick Cheney, the man behind the Quailgate conspiracy of ‘06, is the culprit responsible! A jihad against the most delicious ingredient of the McNugget!
Stock up now, folks. Just because chickens can’t soar, doesn’t mean the prices for them won’t. This attack could shake the very foundations of the fast food world as we know it.
More news as events warrant, here on the Fish News Network.
March 19th, 2006 at 8:05 pm
Mabey th Aussie cops dint mean suspicious in a crimminal kinda way. Mabey they ment suspicious in th spontaneously combustin chickn kinda way.
March 19th, 2006 at 10:41 pm
I don’t see anything suspicious about a chicken shop exploding. But then again, they didn’t say that the explosion was suspicious, just the fire that swept through afterwards.
Could be that we’re seeing that mutant chicken supervillain that I predicted a little while back…