The Christmas spirit has all but shit on my livingroom floor thus far into the holiday season. The radio stations here in Charleston play the worst Christmas music and come across fuzzier than Bush’s speeches. I hung Christmas lights in the living room only to have them collapse on the floor. I even tried self-proclaimed INDUSTRIAL STRENGTH duct tape. Nope, the bastards fell again.

In other news, I was bored at work again and had a good conversation with a good friend of mine named Zach. The Navy oversimplifies everything, and therefore makes it more complicated. For example, a pencil would not be just a “pencil”. The Navy would call it something like “Vertically held, graphite encomposing, wooden inscribing utensil with aft mounted rubber mistake removing device”.

There is a Subway (sub sandwich restaurant for those not in the “know”) on site and we decided to “Nuke out” some common things found within the restaurant. Our mutual favorite and winner was this:

“Carbonic Acid Di-hydrogen Oxide Glucose Mixing Tank Station with Manual Electric Distribution Lever”.

Any guesses as to what it translates to in English?

This entry was posted on Tuesday, December 13th, 2005 at 8:50 pm and is filed under Bullshit, Holidays, Navy. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.