Someone at work today mentioned a game called “Biblical Guess Who”. Everyone should remember the original “Guess Who from their childhood.

We thought of questions you could (and some maybe you shouldn’t) ask your opponent whilst playing:

“Is your person a man?”
“Does he have a beard?”
“Is he wearing a robe?”
“Is he wearing sandals?”
“Was he proclaimed the son of God and crucified?”

I guess that last one all but gives it away, doesn’t it? S’pose that’s why Hasbro hasn’t marketed it yet.

I firmly believe there is a higher being that oversees everything that goes on in our lives. God (if you will), like Santa, is always watching. I have to believe it because someone needs to take responsibility for the ironic waywardness that is my life.

I will never in a million years claim South Carolina as home. To say I dislike the state is an understatement. Between the lethal driving behavior of its citizens, the shit pump behind Burger King, and the paper mill, I can barely keep what little sanity I have left.

I miss Ohio, because there was always something new to see and do. It’s got everything I need: A Best Buy, a 24 hour Wal-Mart, 2 baseball teams, good shopping, camping and hiking… The list goes on. Tonight I especially miss Ohio because Missy Higgins is playing in Cincinnati and Cleveland over the next two days. And her tickets are cheap because no one here in the USA has the slightest inclination of who the hell she is. I’m so happy that the Navy has stationed me here in Goose Creek!

In other news, I’m in the middle of Bill Bryson’s book, In a Sunburned Country. It’s got its humorous points and interesting tidbits here and there. I’m enjoying it. The chapter on Australian politics and the governmental system is particularly interesting because I have been looking for a simple explanation on the subject (which there isn’t and Bryson agrees).

Any Aussie readers out there have any comments on Bill Bryson or recommendations on other Australian books?

Webster defines “celestial” as:

1 : of, relating to, or suggesting heaven or divinity
2 : of or relating to the sky or visible heavens (the sun, moon, and stars are celestial bodies)
3 a : ETHEREAL, OTHERWORLDLY b : OLYMPIAN, SUPREME
4 capitalized [Celestial Empire, old name for China] : of or relating to China or the Chinese

I happened upon this delightful beverage by chance at Wal-Mart the other night. I didn’t have my digital camera on me, but I did have my camera phone. I felt it was worthy of a snapshot and a mention on OFaL (I like this new acronym because that’s exactly how it would taste).

How can I be sure this tea is not made of Chinese people? I have family members who are Chinese and I’d hate to think I could be drinking someone related to them, even if they were simply ground up to a fine dust and placed within a teabag.

I’m left to assume, then, that the tea is from another planet. Wal-Mart is now importing beverages and consumable items from the heavens above. The import tax must be hellacious.

Is this the same spice that Han Solo was transporting for Jabba the Hutt but had to jettison from the Millennium Falcon, causing a most unfortunate bounty upon his skull? Because that would be worth drinking.

I distinctly remember an interesting article discussing stars and interstellar gas. Well, call me old fashioned, but I prefer tea only give me gas indirectly, no matter how stellar the flatulence may be. Perhaps I can russle up a couple dollars and visit my local shop for local people and give it a try.

Finally, a blog design I like. Thanks for the idea and permission, Peter.

Behold, the birth of the Fish!

Thanks to the large amount of snow that Ohio received in the past week, my youngest brother and his friends were able to construct the most offensive snow creation the small town of Rittman has ever seen. While I have not witnessed this phenomenon first hand, I have it on good authority that each testicle is over 5 feet in diameter and the erectile centerpiece is over 10 feet high.

Also of note, this fine firm frozen feat was established in the front yard of the house, where it’s featured for all to witness. Also, it’s conveniently lit at night for those traveling by automobile to oggle and awe.

Admission is free and the exhibition is expected to remain on display until, like the real thing, it just shrivels to the point where it no longer impresses anyone.

A rather exciting day for me today. It’s been over a year and I’ve finally gotten to step aboard a “real” Navy boat. I say “real” because it’s a moored training ship and will never go anywhere ever again, BUT it’s still got a functional nuclear reactor inside!

I was given my first tour of the boat this afternoon and it was one of the most interesting experiences I’ve ever had. I mean, come on, how many people can say they’ve been inside a nuclear submarine and seen a real nuclear reactor up close? Plus, think of all the babes you could impress and pick up by mentioning this random little fact to them. What woman wouldn’t love to hear about nuclear power (ZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzz…..)

The boat is formerly known as the U.S.S. Daniel Webster SSBN-626 . (Not to be confused with Experiment 626). For obvious reasons I can’t mention specifics about the 626’s insides, nor take any photographs for myself, but it was impressive.

I myself am going surface ships (A.K.A. carriers) so I hope this is my first, last, and only submarine. Call me crazy, but I like the idea (or illusion) of outside air and email once in a while.

I’d also like to take this opportunity to discuss the safety of nuclear power. It’s not as bad as you think, so don’t worry about. In fact, there are hardly any side effects to humans at all.

Hey, get your mind out of the gutter. I said titles. Thanks to the help of a fellow blogger, I’ve also got a Super Wham-O-Dyne description generator! So you can spend at least 5 minutes of your day with the “refresh” button on your browser! Collect them all! New action taglines will appear over time.

Everyone knows why the iPod with video was invented. It’s not to watch television or movies on. Hell no. It’s the best way to store and view 60 gigabytes of portable pornography in the palm of your hand! At least, that’s what I expect this web site to develop into.

Behold, the future is upon us. There’s slim pickings at the moment but I’m sure more and more people will jump on board. I think I’ll make one that’s very sweet, kind and loving. And then about 15 or 20 seconds into my movie I’ll cut to some erotic animal footage from the Discovery channel and end it with a clip of the flying monkeys from the Wizard of Oz.

Love will prevail!

Almost finished with the week and not a moment too soon. I think the worst part about the nuclear field is that everything is classified so I can’t bitch about how boring it really is to anyone. Everyone has bad days at work once in a while, but when I have bad days I can’t talk about why because nuclear information could fall into the hands of the Zimbabwean’s (and then where would we be?). They’re dangerous, I tell you…

I’ll need to fight my through the legions of children this weekend as well, since Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire comes out Friday. I’ll do my best not to get arrested for any fighting, but I will say that when the Prisoner of Azkaban came out there was a lot of cussing, spitting, and drinking involved due to all the excitement. And that was just the first graders…

Thank God it’s almost Friday!

Got the ol’ seat changed around today. Moved down next to another friend of mine to get away from L. Once again I am able to keep my food down.

On my way home tonight I decided to stop for a nicely toasted turkey and cheese sub with lettuce and jalepenos when out from nowhere a suicidal cat attempted to end its life.

Since I am allergic to cats, I only wanted to help it so I sped up as fast as I could and tried my damndest to hit the little furry bastard. The sonovabitch changed his mind, though, once the Xenon headlights flashed him directly in his little beady eyes.

Cat: 1, Herbie: 0